meli2005

My FIL is still drinking two weeks later. He lives in another state. He called his girlfriend yesterday and said he thinks his liver is giving out on him. He already has pancreas problems.

Then he started saying how he has so much guilt from something he did when he was 17. He's now like 57 years old. He told his girlfriend he cannot forgive himself for it and that God will not forgive him, etc.

I don't konw what he did, but at some point, we all need to work past things we have done in the past. He called the family who this affected and apologized. Apparently, the girl he did this to is doing fine and has gone on and has forgiven him.

Apparently he says he has felt intense guilt about this his entire life and it has affected him every day of his life. But he told his girlfriend this when he was drunk.

Anyway, then he talked about giving his life (suicide). He's a very sick,tormented individual. I think he's going to drink himself to death.

It's a very sad situation. I am trying not to judge, but it seems like a lot of selfishness to me. He wasn't the best father to my husband, what about that, does that torment him? Why did it take so long for him to apologize for this? Why does he hold so much in?

Plus, you know I wonder if it is even true, a lot of it. He has the tendency not to tell the truth.

Thanks for listening guys!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update, my AH is doing well right now, that's wonderful news. I hope it continues.

Pick-a-name

My blinders are FINALLY starting to come off about the total selfishness involved in this disease.......thanks for yet another example. Reading your post helps me take the pity out and replace it with the facts.

I agree completely with your take on this situation. It IS sad......especially for these people he is continuing to abuse right now (sounds like the woman in the past has forgotten he is alive). It is STILL all about HIM...the attention, the compassion, the pity, the theatrics,excuses,...CRAP!!!!!! As if killing himself will be uplifting and helpful to the people who still care about him. He probably wants them all to flock to him and tell him how great he is, etc,etc.....oh, who knows what he thinks?! Or any of them. Sadly, their minds are toxic. So sorry this brings so much pain and worry to those around him.

So glad your AH continues to do well!

Zoey

So glad hubby doing well.
Does your FIL ever read the Bible?? God forgives all but one thing, if we repent as the ministers say, then our sins become white as snow.
Maybe the girlfriend could disguss that with him.
However it is probably something he wants to hang on to. He perhaps get synpathy and understaning etc. from some if he mentions this.

Just a thought. As I always had trouble with if God would forgive me. Finally got it through my head, if sorry and don't do it again. HUGS

Cap3

Congrats to hub!!!
Way to go!!!
You say,your father-in-law, has felt intense guilt--
about this his entire life and it has affected him.Yes and it shows,by,
He wasnt the best father to your husband..Saw a show last night,that is changing my mind ,on interventions...The tribe,{forget their name},gets the person,that they are doing an intervention on,and one by one they tell this person all the good qualitites in them.and about them.All the good things that this person has done.and said in their lives towards others..The theory is,that when i condem another,that they will automactially either turn away from me,or will chose to not listen,to whats being said,in the normal way of interventions...Man this sounds really good,to, me!!!
Let recovery begin with me.When i changed my attitude towards another,Some,not all,of course, decided within themselves,to respond to my new treatments of them,my new attitude towards them.And yes some of these folks hurt me big time,and through recovery programs i learn,how to let go,of all the negitives that i felt about them.I had to for it was affecting all my life to,just like your father-in-law.Once i let go,i was free,whether they changed or not.Pray for those who are tormented,and sick. it helps to heal all the pain inside.
Thanks for letting me share,God Bless and take care!!!

meli2005

Thanks guys for respoding.

Now FIL is in a hospital, a detox type unit. He said he almost killed himself, he held a razor up to his wrists for an hour, but could not do it. He has tried to kill himself so many times. This has gone on for years. Last March, he tried to kill himself with carbon monoxide and taking a bunch of pills.

You know, maybe it is just an attention seeking behaviour, probably so. Not a healthy one.

He has talked to ministers and others about all this, forgiveness, etc. He has had years to resolve this issue. The person he did this to has forgiven him and moved on.

It doesn't seem to faze my AH much, I guess he is so used to it all. This man has tried to commit suicide more times than I have fingers on my hand.

His rent is paid thru March in the apt he lives in. After that, he probably doesn't ahve any cash, so he needs to find somewhere to live. He wants to move back in w/the girlfriend, but she doesn't want him there. I agree, I think it best he not live there. She bought this house w/the intention he would help w/the mortgage and he helped none. She relocated to be near him. She says he shoudl move in with his mother.

He says his mother's house is too hot and too dirty. Well, clean the darn house and live there. It's a roof over your head. Beggar's can't be choosy. No one should want their mother living in filth anyway, that's selfish. He can clean out her house and help her.

Thanks for listening as always!!!

elizabeth1979

Hi!
What a tormented person your FIL sounds to be.
The seflishness and deceit that come with this disease
is staggering!
Im glad to hear your husband is doing well!