Lent starts Wednesday
 

My husband has been drinking the past two days like he's storing up for Lent. He gives up alcohol during lent, like he's in control. I don't know if he will this year or not. He sometimes blames God for not helping him, so he may blow it off. He is rarely happy unless he destroys other peoples faith. I will be better about not taking it personally this year. quack quack!

Yep, don't take it personally. If he does not "give up" drinking during Lent this year, will you look at it as him falling further into the wormhole? Will you even be surprised? If you're like me, nothing is surprising anymore. All the best to you.

You 're right and the thing is, I've stopped expecting anything from him. I used to put my faith in my husband and he has destroyed all the faith in him. Here's the epitphany for me. That was a necessary correction. I should have never put my faith in him to begin with. I have turned this over to God. Joyce Meyers says that makes it Gods problem and not mine. I'm happy not to be an alcoholic. I wouldn't want people to feel so little trust or respect for me. Lent is a call to conversation. I feel my feelings and deal with them. I'm thankful for finding this place to vent and find support. I hope this lent season brings answers and peace to all your homes.

Joyce Myers has a great way of putting things into perspective (very cut and dry and true). Yes, I suppose putting faith into another person is rather foolish and I never really thought of it along those lines. It really sets us up for disappointment whether the person is an A or not. Lord knows we've all been disappointed many many times. People are after all- only human.

I've stopped expecting things from my AH too. It's no longer worth the energy that I once put into it. Whatever comes my way each day I am doing my best to put into perspective as it comes.

"giving up" booze for a time is part of an A's denial
 

My husband told me he was NOT a drunk because he spent 9 months in Kosovo back in '99 and didn't have the craving at all. HELLO ... THERE IS NO LIQUOR AVAILABLE TO ANYONE IN KOSOVO, CIVILIAN OR ARMED FORCES! Of course, now that he's home all he has to do is get a sniff of vanilla extract and he's guzzling every drop of booze he can get his hands on.

I've watched my husband stop drinking after a particularly nasty bender, when he's come out of detox (maximum sobriety time: 40 days), and when he's deployed to a Muslim country. At this point I don't much care for him whether he's drunk OR sober. Basically, he's an emotional train wreck either way.

I no longer have expectations. Why should I? He's behaving like a perfectly normal drunk. To expect anything else would be MY fault! I hope your husband remains sober during Lent and, for your sake, I hope he is more pleasant drunk than sober.