emily33

I contacted a lawyer this morning looking for information This scares the bejeepers out of me and I dont know why.

What is more scarier??

I am want to gather as much info as I possibly can.

equus

Don't be afraid of getting information, you won't lose control because you have it, going to get it doesn't require you to do anything it just provides you with more to make the decisions with.

Take care - and don't be scared, you're a toughie!

ASpouse

Emily, I think it is great that you are gathering information, but I have to ask, are you in any state of mind to be doing this?

You have so much on your plate ........, a new therapist, quitting smoking, trying to figure out why you are the way you are!

It just seems to me that you are piling more and more on your plate, without first taking care of the things that are already there. It seems to me anyway, that you are doing things very "helter skelter" and doing things that way tend to get you in trouble.

One step at a time, one layer at a time, one issue at time. Don't inundate your fragile self with only more things that won't get accomplished.

Patience is key, planning is key. Take it Easy ...... as they say in AA!

cwohio

emily - i know i felt very uneasy when i made an appt. with an atty. to "gather info" if nothing else at the time. i think it's because we are actually admitting to ourselves that we may want to move forward to get out of a chaotic relationship - thinking about it and actually doing it are two different feelings. words not actions ya know!?

big hugs!

splendra

I think it is a good idea to gather information. You need to know what your options are.

gelfling

You going to the attorney shows me that you're ready for growth and recovery. You're making decisions for yourself. Good move.

Zoey

I think you will feel much better with some information. Lawyers are always scarey, but they are usually nice. Myself I would pick a female. That is just me.
Here alcoholism is grounds for divorce, well used to be. Maybe things have changed and different states are different.
I think you need this info. Just my 2 cents.

emily33

I honestly dont think that I am taking to much on my plate by gathering information. I honestly feel like I have taken all the necessary steps to come to the conclusion I have come to.

I thank you for your concern, but by me quitting smoking doesnt change the situation, going to a therapist doesnt change the situation that me and my children are in. I should have taken this step along time ago, but I never seem to muster up the guts to do it. I want to know what I am looking at getting myself into. I need to start proceedings. No more games, it is going to be rough it is going to kill (PART) of me. But I have lived long enough with abuse, I need and deserve better and to better take care of me and my children, no matter what change we have to make, no matter if I have to quit my job and go elsewhere. I have to change my situation.

I realize my part in all of this mess, I do.

elizabeth1979

Im very proud of you Emily. I really really am!

splendra

(((emily)))


You do deserve a happy life and so do your children. From where I am sitting your part in this is getting ready for a big big change. Keep going girl you are going to make it out of there.

I think violence is grounds for divorce. Just be safe...

emily33

I have an appointment today at 1:00, I am leaving and taking a late long lunch.

I am very nervous, but I know that it is the right thing to do.

I think my bottom is here, when my 8 year old daughter said mommy please dont say anything back to daddy, he will go crazier.

LaTeeDa

I think gathering information is great. Knowledge is power. Like someone else said, just because you know your options, doesn't mean you have to act immediately. Knowing what your choices are gives you the power to make them, when you need to.

Way to go!

L

kermit

Good job, gather all the info you can, getting my attorney has been the best decision I made. We have to protect ourselves and any children involved. Write down your questions as soon as you think of them, so you don't forget when talking to legal advise. Do what is best! You will know. good luck..

emily33

The lawyer that I am seeing is a free consultation, he will give me an hour of his time, they say without any pressure.

I am not sure how much I should tell him, maybe everything, a short version of everything. I want to be able to keep the house and my job, and to keep my kids in the same school system and to be safe.

I am a nervouse wreck, I am afraid that he will somehow find out, like he did the PhD.

ASpouse

Sounds like your daughter is ready for change also! Even at 8, she has learned how to be an enabler and pacifying the alcoholic in her life, her father! Kids learn quick.

I wish you the best today and hope the information you receive is everything you hope for.

cupowater

Wow! It must be in the air. i have an appointment today with one!!!!!

emily33

Good luck cup, I know what you are feeling.

cupowater

Oh, same to you emily. I will be thinking of you at 1pm. Mine is at 1:30!!!

emily33

Yup, leaving in 15 minutes and I am nervous as a cat.

denny57

I found it very helpful to gather all the information I could. The lawyer, in particular, was helpful because it helped me put to rest some fears. I knew I didn't have to act on any of it immediately; just reaching out for all the help set me on a good path.