Al-Anon, Codependency, and 12 Steps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 19
Oh bOy!!! LOL....are you ready for this????
Yep, I did it ! Got the church 1/2 hour early to see where it(the al-anon meeting) was, went and got a DD decaf, went back, drove around the area 10 times trying to find a place to park (you know not to close but close enough to watch anyone go in..lol)finally parked, then began obsessing about the freakin door thing ...lol... saw one lady pull up and go in, so now i think okay that's the door, then another woman shows up, but again someone with a little kid, i wait an another 5 minutes an no one else comes and i don't want ot wait untill "feeling late" becomes an issue so I say screw it, if i am not sure thats the door, i saw a side door in front that said church office, i will just go ask, and i did it, i got out of the stupid car, walked around the building went in, noone around, walked down the stairs, no one, walk down a hallway to a couple offices and found a woman and asked....!!!! TADA
BUT..............
her reply was "oh, no, theres no meeting on wednesdays"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
can you freakin believe it???
I was nervous and sweating but.. It was okay, I didn't self destruct and no boogy monster ate me
....lol. It all felt very matter of fact and she told me when they do meet. The web site was incorrect and this time (trying not to obsess..lol) i didn't call the al-anon # to double check the info.
Tommorrow (fri) i should be able to actually go in to the original meeting i tried.
Thanks for the support.
Yep, I did it ! Got the church 1/2 hour early to see where it(the al-anon meeting) was, went and got a DD decaf, went back, drove around the area 10 times trying to find a place to park (you know not to close but close enough to watch anyone go in..lol)finally parked, then began obsessing about the freakin door thing ...lol... saw one lady pull up and go in, so now i think okay that's the door, then another woman shows up, but again someone with a little kid, i wait an another 5 minutes an no one else comes and i don't want ot wait untill "feeling late" becomes an issue so I say screw it, if i am not sure thats the door, i saw a side door in front that said church office, i will just go ask, and i did it, i got out of the stupid car, walked around the building went in, noone around, walked down the stairs, no one, walk down a hallway to a couple offices and found a woman and asked....!!!! TADA
BUT..............
her reply was "oh, no, theres no meeting on wednesdays"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
can you freakin believe it???
I was nervous and sweating but.. It was okay, I didn't self destruct and no boogy monster ate me
....lol. It all felt very matter of fact and she told me when they do meet. The web site was incorrect and this time (trying not to obsess..lol) i didn't call the al-anon # to double check the info.Tommorrow (fri) i should be able to actually go in to the original meeting i tried.
Thanks for the support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 19
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!
I did it, i did it, I did it, Wha hooo.........
Yep, i am looking for pats on the back here. It was hard for me, but I did it. Guess what??? No boogy monster, and i didn't combust.
First i parked far away again, but then i just felt a strength somewhere,pulled out and drove intoo the lot that everyone else was in, jumped out and immediatly asked this nice older lady if she knew where the meeting was, and she said 'follow me', i looked at her and said 'that was easy'. She was a member also, it felt quite surreal, I went in, there was about 25 people(more than i anticipated) all sitting in a circle. My emotions ran the whole gammit while i was there, a definate "okay this is weird, what the bleep am I doing here", no one seemed to notice me much, they all seemed to know what they were doing and i suddenly felt like an outcast in school. I was panicking when they past around the book to read the steps in turn, but when it go to me the nice lady that showed me in said it was my first time and they went passed me, thank God, i felt like it was book report time in high school again. They had a moment of silence and then recited the serenity prayer, and i am open to all this, but there's a little kid in me thinking its funny and weird.
Then they aked if there were any new members (another oh crap moment)and everyone said hi. And i had some people asigned to me as the welcoming commitee(LOL), they were really nice. then they all just took turns with their stories, today's topic was finding your serenity. Well they all did seem like a bunch of mismatched characters let me tell ya. BUT Everyone of their stories related to me in some way, very freaky profound ways. The first three were actually about 'keeping the house clean' stories which i totally related to, and was JUST talking to my friend about. i don't know how many stories but everyone one of them could have been mine, and i had to control myself as i was going to burst out into uncontrollable sobs at any moment. Then someone would make with the funny and the tention released. i felt like such an outcast yet remarkable just like them, you could feel something powerful in that room.
There is no cross talk(advice giving) so its like these posts, how we can't really banter back in forth, we just leave our posts, thats what they do. And although no one gives you any advice, you get out of the meeting feeling like you found something to help you. My anger at my husband disapated (for today anyway) and we actually went out tonight and had a great dinner at a nice restaurant.
It was hard, it was weird, it was funny, it was sad, it was moving.
At the end of the meeting they showed me the different books i could buy and asked which was the one I wanted and I said "all of them", they laughed and said "all of them??" I said 'yep, I am an all or nothing girl and when i do things i do them big' and they laughed. i grabbed my books and ran(I was late to pick up my son) Jumped in my car and cried. I do not know if they were tears of joy or saddness, but it felt good. What a strange experience.
One woman already gave me her phone number in case i had questions or needed to talk.
Oh and by the way, there IS one person there who looked familiar, i can't figure out how i know him, but everytime i look at him, i make a connection to my H. i think its someone my H knows. But i didn't care, it really does feel safe there.
I am very proud of myself not only for doing the al-anon thing but for overcoming the fear of going to a "new" thing alone. That was a tough thing for me.
Well i hope this helps someone else who may be thinking of going to al-anon, but is nervous. Piece of cake ! LOL
The books i got are really awesome, i looked up anger in one of them, and the story it directed me to was right on for how i have been feeling, so dead on(freaky), it made me bawl with this new sense of understanding, and i felt a release, and I think that particular passage is what allowed me to really enjoy dinner with my husband.
I got alot out of the one meeting already becuase I had researched it and kinda new what to expect and why they do it how they do it, and with some of the posters here trying to convey how life changing it is, I was really open and ready for it. But I can understand why some would be turned off and say its not for them, it IS weird but you have to give it a chance, beleive me, 5 minutes into it i was looking for a way to bolt. In the soberrecovery.com forum someone had said 'all these people do is talk about themselves' and they thought it was strange and didn't like it, but if you are looking for a place to b**ch about your spouse, this aint it. And if you aren't real religious, all the higher power stuff can set you aback but it(higher power) can simply be the energy of the people in the room, although quite a few of them who said they hadn't believed in a God, now do.
Well thats my story, any one need any good affirmations? i have books full, just give me a shout out...LOL
anyone afraid of the al-anon boogy monster let me know, chicken little is right here to set you straight!
I did it, i did it, I did it, Wha hooo.........
Yep, i am looking for pats on the back here. It was hard for me, but I did it. Guess what??? No boogy monster, and i didn't combust.
First i parked far away again, but then i just felt a strength somewhere,pulled out and drove intoo the lot that everyone else was in, jumped out and immediatly asked this nice older lady if she knew where the meeting was, and she said 'follow me', i looked at her and said 'that was easy'. She was a member also, it felt quite surreal, I went in, there was about 25 people(more than i anticipated) all sitting in a circle. My emotions ran the whole gammit while i was there, a definate "okay this is weird, what the bleep am I doing here", no one seemed to notice me much, they all seemed to know what they were doing and i suddenly felt like an outcast in school. I was panicking when they past around the book to read the steps in turn, but when it go to me the nice lady that showed me in said it was my first time and they went passed me, thank God, i felt like it was book report time in high school again. They had a moment of silence and then recited the serenity prayer, and i am open to all this, but there's a little kid in me thinking its funny and weird.
Then they aked if there were any new members (another oh crap moment)and everyone said hi. And i had some people asigned to me as the welcoming commitee(LOL), they were really nice. then they all just took turns with their stories, today's topic was finding your serenity. Well they all did seem like a bunch of mismatched characters let me tell ya. BUT Everyone of their stories related to me in some way, very freaky profound ways. The first three were actually about 'keeping the house clean' stories which i totally related to, and was JUST talking to my friend about. i don't know how many stories but everyone one of them could have been mine, and i had to control myself as i was going to burst out into uncontrollable sobs at any moment. Then someone would make with the funny and the tention released. i felt like such an outcast yet remarkable just like them, you could feel something powerful in that room.
There is no cross talk(advice giving) so its like these posts, how we can't really banter back in forth, we just leave our posts, thats what they do. And although no one gives you any advice, you get out of the meeting feeling like you found something to help you. My anger at my husband disapated (for today anyway) and we actually went out tonight and had a great dinner at a nice restaurant.
It was hard, it was weird, it was funny, it was sad, it was moving.
At the end of the meeting they showed me the different books i could buy and asked which was the one I wanted and I said "all of them", they laughed and said "all of them??" I said 'yep, I am an all or nothing girl and when i do things i do them big' and they laughed. i grabbed my books and ran(I was late to pick up my son) Jumped in my car and cried. I do not know if they were tears of joy or saddness, but it felt good. What a strange experience.
One woman already gave me her phone number in case i had questions or needed to talk.
Oh and by the way, there IS one person there who looked familiar, i can't figure out how i know him, but everytime i look at him, i make a connection to my H. i think its someone my H knows. But i didn't care, it really does feel safe there.
I am very proud of myself not only for doing the al-anon thing but for overcoming the fear of going to a "new" thing alone. That was a tough thing for me.
Well i hope this helps someone else who may be thinking of going to al-anon, but is nervous. Piece of cake ! LOL
The books i got are really awesome, i looked up anger in one of them, and the story it directed me to was right on for how i have been feeling, so dead on(freaky), it made me bawl with this new sense of understanding, and i felt a release, and I think that particular passage is what allowed me to really enjoy dinner with my husband.
I got alot out of the one meeting already becuase I had researched it and kinda new what to expect and why they do it how they do it, and with some of the posters here trying to convey how life changing it is, I was really open and ready for it. But I can understand why some would be turned off and say its not for them, it IS weird but you have to give it a chance, beleive me, 5 minutes into it i was looking for a way to bolt. In the soberrecovery.com forum someone had said 'all these people do is talk about themselves' and they thought it was strange and didn't like it, but if you are looking for a place to b**ch about your spouse, this aint it. And if you aren't real religious, all the higher power stuff can set you aback but it(higher power) can simply be the energy of the people in the room, although quite a few of them who said they hadn't believed in a God, now do.
Well thats my story, any one need any good affirmations? i have books full, just give me a shout out...LOL
anyone afraid of the al-anon boogy monster let me know, chicken little is right here to set you straight!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Way to go! I also wondered sometimes why I felt so good after a meeting - especially the ones where all I'd done was sit and listen. Now I don't even try to figure it out - I just know that is what I will get when I go. You have taken a big step in your recovery and should be proud of yourself.
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