Is them being cocky a common trait?
 

Just wondering if the cocky ness (not a word I'm sure LOL) is common among alcoholics? I mean, the one I know, gets a few bucks in his pocket, may do what any normal man does - get up and go to work each day, he said he hasn't drank in a week - I don't believe that - a few of those days every verbal indication is that he was drinking.

Yet to hear him talk - he is all that and then some! Very arrogant, cocky - I get what I want - always - and I want you back type of talk. He admits he's cocky, yet why? What he owns you can put in two garbage bags. His job is him and one other guy that pays him under the table. I guess now that he's not homeless - it's all good.

Ugh!!!

Don't you feel embarrassed for him? Makes you wonder if they belive themselves.

i think for many of them it's a way to cover up their low self-esteem.

I,thought i was the great i, am....A ledgen
In my own mind.
I am alcoholic.

Short answer to this, in my experience, is YES!

Wasn't always the case. I have noticed when he is in one of his "heavier cycles" he is always arrogant and cocky....and so are the folks he surrounds himself with. THAT is what I hate the most........not the "drinking", but that attitude. (I become "chopped-liver"...somehow "beneath" him it feels like..whatever! ;) )

My AH is very successful in business, so are his "friends" (fellow-braggers)..they seem to feed off each other like a couple of kids daring each other...UGH! (He finds some of the biggest A-holes when he is in this mode......excuse my French!;) )Last time he got like this he got himself to a point where he quit a job instead of being fired....partly because of this attitude and office "politics". (I learned after the fact that he was smoking pot and doing coke at this time,too.) Then he was back down in the dumps........but had to work extra hard to stay/be successful (he is a perfectionist and workaholic...both bigs parts of this same package for him) so he cut way back on the drinking,etc. and actually was "himself" until he has heading back up and people started wanting things from him/sucked up to him because he was making money. How that plays into the picture, I do not know except that he was able to afford that quicker buzz....


Actually, it seems like an ego thing....his self-esteem is really in the toilet, but he puts on a big show...especially for himself. It is sad, and very annoying. It is very self-defeating; in my eyes. He thinks he is soooooooo impressive, but when he is like that, the impression is negative to me.

They're a legend in their own minds.

Well, it's a disease. It does offer lots of distorted thinking. Grandiose and small. Affects us all differently. Being the adult child of an alcoholic, I had a pathetic sense of self worth. Pathetic is a choice of word that shows me I still think a bit low of myself. I have a distorted image of myself due to the family disease of alcohol. However,,,,,, I am recovering. Starting to believe people when they tell me that I am beautiful. Starting to accept that they see something real in me that I may not be able to see. I hope I don't become Napolean with my hand in my coat (good place to be in fact) but I do hope to have the understanding that I am a child of God plain and simple. Kinda great, but the world doesn't revolve on me. Sickness is really weird. Disease is really weird. Kinda dumps my brain out, breaks a few pieces and then stuffs it all back in my head and I walk around socially ******** due to a kaleidoscope brain. Alanon is helping me put the pieces back together.

Vonnie

My thought exactly.


I think that is an attempt to take some control and power back from someone he may feel is controlling him.

Cap3 said it,

A legend in my own mind.

It covers up for their low self-esteem.

Ngaire

Hmm, interesting. Ya know, sometimes I wish I had some of that boldness. I mean,I do believe I suffer from lowself esteem myself. I suspect so as why in the world would I have stayed and have such a hard time cutting loose a man who clearly is no good for me. He says all the things that contribute to me feeling like I can do no better. " I've never cheated on you, I love you, need you, nobody will ever love you like I do, put up with you and your moodiness like I do etc", and then the name calling if he doesn't get his way not to mention the lies and distrust. And the good old - "well you made plenty of mistakes too, you drink etc and I'd never leave you..."

I'd feel so foolish if I acted that way - full of myself. But like my sister said, if I was all drunked up, I guess I'd act different too.

I'm new here and this is my first post - it is really nice to be able to hear other people going thru some of the same ridiculous things we go thru - anyway - my AH is very cocky when drinking - it makes me laugh - he slures his words and can hardly stand up but he is steadily yelling "Do you know who I am" - like he's the freakin president - yeah I know your a drunk and you sound like an idiot right now.

welcome texasgirl33 - great site - lots of wonderful folks. read all you can and post often!

Don't forget - arrogance is just a mask.

Real confidence doesn't impose on other people.

And welcome texasgirl33!!