New and Frustrated
 

I am new at this web loc. I am a co dependent trying to recover along with my M. It took a DUI to get him to wake up but I will take it. We are busy with all the court ordered AA's couseling etc. I found out earlier this week when he had to do random drug testing that he would drop "dirty". This hurt my feelings. I get frustrated because I want to trust him but when I do, I get slapped in the face with realilty. I guess, what I need or am looking for is some glimmer of hope that life will get better someday.

I couldn't help but think that sounds like prison slang. "drop dirty". It's a day most of us come to when we find out we have to start thinking with our head instead of our heart. I think some people work harder at trying to cheat at recovery than actually working a program. When the vocabulary in a relationship requires an inmate to interpret it, it's time to put aside the heart. However hard, consider what "drop dirty" means instead of how it makes you feel. Can you tel us what testing positive on a drug or alcohol test would mean in your life?

Welcome RooRoo!

Have you given any thoughts to visiting an Al-anon meeting? There are plenty of folks there that can help you learn how to find that glimmer of hope you're looking for.

My husband just lost another job because of dirty UA's. He's a truck driver and they get random testing. He's willing to put his career on the line for smoke, it's disgusting. Last time he lost a job,her got suspended for 30 days and they re-tested him and he flunked that one too. I'm pretty pissed and trying not to be codependent and smooth it all over, but we have no income now.