pmaslan

I agree with Getting By and Minnie......
Glad you got your thinking cap on.....

mythreesons

(((Tex))) You deserve so much more than this... true of false, you deserve not to question the actions of your husband. I hope your day gets better!

Huge

TomsGirl

Obviously her intentions were less than honorable. Maybe his were too

Uh oh, don't fall into the trap of blaming the other woman. I don't think she dragged him away at gun point. Her intentions shouldn't be your focus but your husband's response to them. Yeah, it sucks.

JessicaNAJ

You nailed it....no you should not.

Take good care of you. I'm so glad you are not buying into his story.

guyinNC

Texasgirl,

I hate to say this...but it sure sounds like he cheated on you.

I know from personal experience. Acholics lie thats what they do. You want to believe...but thats only for your sanity.

Adultry...infidelity is the most hurtful thing a spouse can do. I know with me it broke my heart...I have yet to recover.

It takes time.

dax

There is absolutely no way he will admit to cheating unless you have him nailed to wall with solid evidence. I had at least 100 pages of stuff on other woman. AA and computer stuff he had done- map to Super Bowl Party etc.. Husband would only admit to emotional affair. The stupid therapist believed him[ she is also in AA- maybe denial]. 5 years later I find hidden file with letter he wrote but never sent talking about 'time in the sack' and a trip to Gatlinberg. Finally the jerk comes clean and after I throw him out I get a somewhat believable history of an AA affair. Without this letter he would have denied sex till he or I died. I kind of hate him for this continued lie. I have an very bad problem with anger I know . I am working on it. He is so big and trusted in AA- what a farce!. So a cheater will make you think you a crazy to think the worst- but you man is cheating. dax

CatsTail

Hi TexasGirl,

2 Things,

First off I'm not sure why you are confused. Even if by some stretch of imagination HE'S NOT cheating he's still lying about what he is doing.

Secondly, I read your recent post and you said you shouldn't be put in a situation by your husband to wonder what he is doing. In actual fact you are putting yourself in it not him by not taking some kind of action for yourself.

If you feel uncomfortable TexasG irl then something is wrong somewhere.

In my experience I know with my ex I always had that uncomfortable feeling in my guts that no amount of rationalizing could get rid of. I had to get to the point that whether it was true or not about what he was doing I had to decide I didn't deserve to be in that situation and get myself out of it.

Like Aspouse said you can ask him about it without being confronting and by his nonsensical answers you'll know.


Good Luck

Mgaire

mallowcup

When a heart breaks, it shatters into a million pieces that you can put back together any way you want to. Infidelity is gut wrenching, it is life altering and it requires the energy you use to tolerate the drinking, so there is none left to tolerate the drinking. Infidelity yanks down that last veil of enchantment so that reality has no filter. It is an acute reminder of the spirit, the soul being seperate from the body. The day you find out is like your life takes a sharp right angle. That can turn out to be the right road afterall and a sharp turn you wouldn't have taken otherwise. Hemay not have reached his bottom but Thank God, you have reached yours, there is no way to go but up.

guyinNC

Mallowcup,

Sounds like you experienced the pain too. I'm so sorry. WHat you said is the absolute truth. Nothing is left after affair!

mallowcup

My ex cheated on me. I truely was the last to know. He was drunk everyday. I knew NOTHING about cocaine. Now that I do it explains so much! I remember wailing, I lost about 40 pounds, I just stopped eating. My husband was driving off and picking up a 15 year old who was impressed with his car and a six pack. I had these intractable migraine headaches. My eyes were literally swollen shut from crying. I can't even remember much about the days that followed me finding out, I do remember rocking, sobbing and praying almost in a mantra. In retrospect, it had gotten so bad I would be dead by now had it gone on any longer. I had a popped ear drum, fractured ribs, I had isolated myself(actually he made it impossible for me to have a single friend) . He would have killed me or I would have killed myself. He had handed me a loaded gun and told me to blow my head off. That all happened to someone else a million years ago. I really believe this, I think the peace and happiness we get is proportional to the pain we suffer. I know I am going to be OK from now to the day I die. I may be rich or poor. I am faithful to myself.

TRISH1011

I am sorry TG. My partner went through the same thing. She left him for someone else, but denied them all along. It's a pity that marriage is not as sacred as it once was, that it's all too easy for one to escape 'when the going gets a little tough'.

Stand your ground honey. Don't confront him. It will just make another allowance for him to betray you yet again with his lies which will make it even more hurtful.

PS - Keep the receipt and write down the phone number for your own reference.