Scared but hanging on
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Butler Pa
Posts: 77
Scared but hanging on
Hi Everybody
Well my daughter who is a heroin addict was released from jail on 1/6. She is now at a court mandated treatment facility supposedly for 6 months. She thinks it is only for four.
She has 4 months enforced sobriety from being in jail. She has a pretty good attitude but she is one of the best manipulators you would ever want to meet (my always wanting to believe her might have something to do with that
huh ??)and she is extremely impulsive.
I am feeling those very familiar queasey scarey feelings in my gut now that she has been released and I know I have to try very very hard to detach and Let Go Let God. It was so much easier when she was locked up and safe. She has run from every program she has been in and if she does run from this one she will go back to jail.
My husband just rolls his eyes at me. .he has more faith in her. .or less co-dependancy. .
The program is like a half-way house for female offenders. It has a loud buzzer that goes off when the doors are opened. She probably can't run at least yet.
She says she is going to give it her all. We did send a rehab bag of clothes and toiletries and we can call her regularly on the pay phone which is wonderful after her being in jail and really restricted.
I got to hug her on Monday the first time in 4 months. It was wonderful.
So it is up to her and I got some hard work to do with my recovery.
Blessings Mo
Well my daughter who is a heroin addict was released from jail on 1/6. She is now at a court mandated treatment facility supposedly for 6 months. She thinks it is only for four.
She has 4 months enforced sobriety from being in jail. She has a pretty good attitude but she is one of the best manipulators you would ever want to meet (my always wanting to believe her might have something to do with that
huh ??)and she is extremely impulsive.I am feeling those very familiar queasey scarey feelings in my gut now that she has been released and I know I have to try very very hard to detach and Let Go Let God. It was so much easier when she was locked up and safe. She has run from every program she has been in and if she does run from this one she will go back to jail.
My husband just rolls his eyes at me. .he has more faith in her. .or less co-dependancy. .
The program is like a half-way house for female offenders. It has a loud buzzer that goes off when the doors are opened. She probably can't run at least yet.
She says she is going to give it her all. We did send a rehab bag of clothes and toiletries and we can call her regularly on the pay phone which is wonderful after her being in jail and really restricted.
I got to hug her on Monday the first time in 4 months. It was wonderful.
So it is up to her and I got some hard work to do with my recovery.
Blessings Mo
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Mo,
I am right there with you...and you know it!! Like MG said we are here if you need us.
You have a good head and you will make wise choices.
The Beav is out and I have already been scammed by him once...damn I am awed by their abilty to scam us!!! If he could apply half of that energy to something positive who knows where he would be right now...
Hugs,
JT
I am right there with you...and you know it!! Like MG said we are here if you need us.
You have a good head and you will make wise choices.
The Beav is out and I have already been scammed by him once...damn I am awed by their abilty to scam us!!! If he could apply half of that energy to something positive who knows where he would be right now...
Hugs,
JT
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mo
You know my heart goes out to you as well as my prayers.
Things get so twisted with our codependency - first we worry when they are using that they might go to jail, then we hope they DO go to jail because it is safer than the street and they can get clean there, then they get out and are clean and we worry that they might use and end up back in jail...are we crazy or what?
Nope, we're just codependents who love our children.
Right now she is in a program and she is clean. That in itself is a miracle, Mo, and I know that I take my miracles one day at a time. Tomorrow will be tomorrow - whether we worry or not - so let's just enjoy today.
And I know what you mean about those hugs - they mean more now than ever.
Hang on to your helmet Mo, and just enjoy the peace.
You know my heart goes out to you as well as my prayers.
Things get so twisted with our codependency - first we worry when they are using that they might go to jail, then we hope they DO go to jail because it is safer than the street and they can get clean there, then they get out and are clean and we worry that they might use and end up back in jail...are we crazy or what?
Nope, we're just codependents who love our children.
Right now she is in a program and she is clean. That in itself is a miracle, Mo, and I know that I take my miracles one day at a time. Tomorrow will be tomorrow - whether we worry or not - so let's just enjoy today.
And I know what you mean about those hugs - they mean more now than ever.
Hang on to your helmet Mo, and just enjoy the peace.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
Hey Mo -
Great to hear from you! When my son was released from jail last September, my first reaction was the same as yours - FEAR. I had gotten used to the idea of him being in jail and found I really really liked knowing where he was and that he was safe. Even though I was happy for him that he would be free again, just for a moment my recovery flew out the window. A wise soul here reminded me that worrying never changed anything and that every day clean was a miracle. This is so true and I'm grateful that my son is still in recovery and living in a halfway house today. I also remind myself that only he knows what he really went through in the year he was away and during his active heroin addiction and pray that this is a powerful motivator for him to change his lifestyle.
Turning it over is all we can really do. Keep the faith!
hugs,
deedee
Great to hear from you! When my son was released from jail last September, my first reaction was the same as yours - FEAR. I had gotten used to the idea of him being in jail and found I really really liked knowing where he was and that he was safe. Even though I was happy for him that he would be free again, just for a moment my recovery flew out the window. A wise soul here reminded me that worrying never changed anything and that every day clean was a miracle. This is so true and I'm grateful that my son is still in recovery and living in a halfway house today. I also remind myself that only he knows what he really went through in the year he was away and during his active heroin addiction and pray that this is a powerful motivator for him to change his lifestyle.
Turning it over is all we can really do. Keep the faith!
hugs,
deedee
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
****{Mo}}}
I am so happy that your daughter is giving it her all. I am sure it is natural for the fears to creep in. How could they not?
You and your family are in my prayers.
Wishing you the very best. Remember to take care of you also!!
Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie
I am so happy that your daughter is giving it her all. I am sure it is natural for the fears to creep in. How could they not?
You and your family are in my prayers.
Wishing you the very best. Remember to take care of you also!!
Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie
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