Love
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Love
Originally Posted by Grimnar
"Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do.
And if that someone doesn't want it, then do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does."
And if that someone doesn't want it, then do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does."
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Love is something you do, but not a feeling? Not an emotion?
Then what is happy? What is sad? Are those not feelings?
I would agree that making love is something you do, but unless there's no emotion or feelings, then it's just the sterile mechanics of sex, procreation. Might as well record it and sell it as porn on the internet.
Was this quote taken out of context? WTF!!!
Then what is happy? What is sad? Are those not feelings?
I would agree that making love is something you do, but unless there's no emotion or feelings, then it's just the sterile mechanics of sex, procreation. Might as well record it and sell it as porn on the internet.
Was this quote taken out of context? WTF!!!
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I believe that love is action, not (simply) feeling. It needs looking after through actions, big and small, otherwise it dies.
As M Scott Peck said "The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth."
As M Scott Peck said "The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth."
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Originally Posted by minnie
I believe that love is action, not (simply) feeling. It needs looking after through actions, big and small, otherwise it dies.
Originally Posted by susane1408
His reply " I know, it's in everything you do"
Just can't get my head around that one...
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Ok, maybe there's a "just" missing from the original quote.
It (just!) grabbed me today because I seem to be reading and hearing about so many people who go with the feeling, but not doing or receiving the action. And that is no way to live, imho. It's mixing up other feelings (anticipation, excitement, dependence, nervousness, euphoria, etc etc) and calling it love, which I believe is a misnomer.
It (just!) grabbed me today because I seem to be reading and hearing about so many people who go with the feeling, but not doing or receiving the action. And that is no way to live, imho. It's mixing up other feelings (anticipation, excitement, dependence, nervousness, euphoria, etc etc) and calling it love, which I believe is a misnomer.
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Originally Posted by minnie
It's mixing up other feelings (anticipation, excitement, dependence, nervousness, euphoria, etc etc) and calling it love, which I believe is a misnomer.
Friggen pheromones! IMO
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Love is not a feeling, nor an action. Love is just a word that we use in our fumbling attempts at communicating something that is beyond communication. Words are only good for describing objective things, like the weight of a block or the height of a building. The only way for another person to understand the feelings I have inside of me is for that other person to have experienced the same feeling.
All the poets of history have done their best to explain love with words. All of them have cmopletely failed to even approach what I see in the eyes of the woman I love, when she loves me in return.
That is why sitting next to a fellow codie who has lost that love is infinetly more powerful than all the words in all the books and all the therapy sessions. That other codie knows exactly what I feel, to the very depths of their soul. That is what love really is. Love is what happens when two people look into each other's souls and see that way deep inside they are both the same.
Mike :-)
All the poets of history have done their best to explain love with words. All of them have cmopletely failed to even approach what I see in the eyes of the woman I love, when she loves me in return.
That is why sitting next to a fellow codie who has lost that love is infinetly more powerful than all the words in all the books and all the therapy sessions. That other codie knows exactly what I feel, to the very depths of their soul. That is what love really is. Love is what happens when two people look into each other's souls and see that way deep inside they are both the same.
Mike :-)
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Perhaps I should chime in here.
For the record the quote came from HBO's Six Feet Under show and I am not sure I got the quote 100% right.
That said, when I posted it in another thread, I was thinking of a specific situation in my life. It was not my intent to try and apply it globally.
In my case someone told me they loved me (several times actually) but failed to back that up with action that was promised to me by said person. I am being a bit vague I know.
So I guess the first part of the quote for me says that for love to be real it needs to be demostrated with action and deeds. Words are not enough.
The second part I think is clear enough.
minnie, I just started reading The Road Less Traveled.
For the record the quote came from HBO's Six Feet Under show and I am not sure I got the quote 100% right.
That said, when I posted it in another thread, I was thinking of a specific situation in my life. It was not my intent to try and apply it globally.
In my case someone told me they loved me (several times actually) but failed to back that up with action that was promised to me by said person. I am being a bit vague I know.
So I guess the first part of the quote for me says that for love to be real it needs to be demostrated with action and deeds. Words are not enough.
The second part I think is clear enough.
Originally Posted by minnie
As M Scott Peck said "The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth."
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Grimnar, I think it CAN be applied globally. Your scenario about someone saying they loved you but not backing it up with action is seen day in and day out on these boards. It gets even more complicated when the actions DO happen, but are not motivated by love, but taken as a form of manipulation. I need another cup of coffee to explain that fully.
The Road Less Travelled is one of my favourite books. I think it's due another read. I urge anyone who is in (or has been in) a dysfunctional relationship to at least read the chapter called "Dependency". I read it again after I had a bit of recovery under my belt and remember saying to my counsellor that it was as if it had been written for me and my situation. Let me know what you think, G.
The Road Less Travelled is one of my favourite books. I think it's due another read. I urge anyone who is in (or has been in) a dysfunctional relationship to at least read the chapter called "Dependency". I read it again after I had a bit of recovery under my belt and remember saying to my counsellor that it was as if it had been written for me and my situation. Let me know what you think, G.
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I may have to get that book and read it - never heard of it. this discussion brings to mind the some of the sayings i've heard used on this board - walk the walk and actions, not words. we've, as a society, been so bombarded with the wrong messages about what "love" truly is.
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Originally Posted by Grimnar
... In my case someone told me they loved me (several times actually) but failed to back that up with action ...
I thanked her for the compliment, and I thanked my HP for the opportunity to see up close and personal just how sick my life can become if I don't work my program and figure out my own, healthy, understanding of "love".
Perhaps the biggest lesson for me so far has been that words mean nothing. Only action counts.
Mike :-)
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