equus

There was a programme advertised on stammers, and I realised D isn't! I haven't got a clue how long, I never noticed - I was never aware of it anyway unless it was causing him a problem - not between us.

I'm not going mad, I'm sure I'm not going mad. I wish I could remember last time we had friends round but I didn't notice anything. I've listened all evening since the telly ad when we first came home - it's definately not my imagination.

I'm glad but I feel a bit odd, it's feeling unreal so much being different.

minnie

You sure you didn't swap D at a car boot sale?

equus

Flippin' ada I've been listening and starting conversations for the last 4 hours and even I CAN'T wrap my head round this. It did use (weird saying 'use') to go up and down, especially on the phone but at home I never paid it any attention - if the telly hadn't reminded me I don't think I would have noticed!!

It's definately still D though - he was photographing the washing up water!! And has brought an ancient thingamy home (voltmetre?).

cwohio

ok - now I'M going mad - what the heck are you talking about eq?

equus

D stammered - now he isn't. I haven't a clue when it changed the over the summer I was making calls on the phone for him but mostly out of habit. In Sept (I think) he was asked to phone a counsellor as a task - he did it and I'm sure the stammer was still there then (must have been for it to be a task?).

When he started his last job he wouldn't use the phone at all but he has in this one - that goes up and down anyway so I don't pay any attention unless it's bothering him.

It's not there! The last time I remember it being an issue was my Dad's birthday in April. I'm sure it was around over summer but we didn't go out hardly at all and I wouldn't have noticed either way at home.

cwohio

ohhhh - ok - got it now. interesting - never did much research on the subject but if i know you, there'll be more posts to come!

equus

Nah!! I'm most definately NOT going to research it. I did after sticking my foot in it big time a couple of years ago, it's not a miracle because it was never consistant anyway.

I just can't believe I could so absolutely NOT notice or that even more is changing than I did notice! Perhaps I should pull my nose out of reading and actually look up now and again!

cwohio

pmaslan

Thanks Christie for asking for clarity.....gosh I have to learn to be a better "Brit mate!"

Pick-a-name

"Blimey".........I thought it was me, Christie. That is "English" they are speaking, not the US version of it; at least not the kind we have in Ohio,right?
I will have to try a bit harder to de-cipher it! haha (I'm a little dense this way...)

Gabe

Food for thought...for another thread...
antisocial behavior in general.
Could be a good discussion, whether stammering is involved or not.

Zoey

Thanks Christy for getting that cleared up. I caught the stammer part, then she lost me.
eq , interesting what we don't notice. Mgr at our office one day said he noticed his wife didn't seem to be smoking cig, he commented, she said she had not had one for 3 months. course he was a smoker, so wasn't missing the smoke in the air.
I fail to notice peoples hair, I always look at the eyes. To me hair is part of them but the eyes are feelings. I want to see happy, feeling good, etc.

equus

Okay - I slapped myself, I did rattle the OP off a bit too fast, and yup - thanks Christie for nudging me to clarify.

Gabe - did you mean social behaviour, how people get along etc? I think that could be quite cool.

I'm not sure about the US but over here antisocial behaviour means, unacceptable behaviour - the courts even hand out 'Anti-Social Behaviour Orders' (ASBO'S) to control it. Stammering is definately not antisocial as it's meant in the UK.

Anyway,turns out I wasn't totally nuts, once he was tired enough (And Noooooo I didn't make him talk all night - he made a battery pack recharger at midnight!!) it was there - just not noticable. It's definately tons better.

Gabe

My meaning of antisocial behavior is "lack of a social life"...in other words withdrawal from society.

splendra

((((equus & D))))

Making progress aye? Good...

equus

Shunning being anti-social just reminded me of something! I've only 'fessed this a couple of times in PM but here goes and it's cringeworthy!!!

When D first came back he had been managing to control his drinking quite well (uhmmm... by comparison) so when we went out he would drink and chatter away quite happily. Sober he stammered but I'd hardly notice - it was never a bad stammer and it never really got on my radar.

Anyway we were looking at houses to buy and it was probably the first times I saw D in company without a drink and basically he didn't say anything. He got away with it though without him not speaking being noticable, he'd nod or smile and it 'seemed' like he was taking part - until we went to view this one house. We ended up talking for a long while with the owner and D's silence got VERY obvious, I filled the gaps heroically but was seriously unamused!!

When we got out the house I told D he looked like a friggin' psychopath!! (Go me!!). D took it on the chin and said he really 'couldn't' talk. Then we had an interview with a mortgage broker, before going in I clarified with D not to pull any silent psycho impressions (YAY-- Go me again!).

The interview was HORRIBLE. The mortgage broker was a tw@t and would only speak to me, he totally ignored anything D said and would just look at me waiting for me to say it again. He was so RUDE I couldn't believe it and I felt guiltier and guiltier for getting D to agree to talk no matter what. D continued valiantly much longer than I would have done before giving up. I wanted to wind back time, eat my words, escape, run away, pretend it wasn't happening, punch the tw@t, walk out but most importantly not make any scene that would make things worse!! Finally the bloody thing ended and needless to say he got no business out of us.

About a hundred silent yards down the road D said "I don't think he was very fluent in Hobbit!!" And we both cracked up laughing!! I guess I was forgiven but I left it alone after that - no more bully tactics from me!

In other attempts to stop it's played a massive part. I've noticed him getting ignored but mostly him getting out of talking altogether. Last week when he had his trip with a workmate to London I was more shocked that he chatted as opposed to feeling trapped saying nothing - but even then I didn't twig his speech has changed.

I know one thing for sure I've been as effected by his shyness as by drinking habits in public. It's dominated our social life (or lack of it!!).