elizabeth1979

D called, he now says he got a job and starts tomorrow. He says he wants to go to outpatient treatment and asked if he went to see his doc to get on antabuse, if I would pay for the Rx. Not give him money but pick up the Rx and pay the 25.00 for it directly at the pharmacy.

Ithink I am getting conned, but could he be ready?

Pick-a-name

That sounds like progress to me....is it worth $25 to try? I believe I would, but that is just me. More will be revealed....... In fact; see what the doctor says first, and then decide for sure. Actually; how can we ever know....then don't even know from moment to moment.


Maybe the doctor could be of assistance in this whole thing, My A sister's doctor ended up (LONG...) story doing outpatient detox on her when she was entering IOP. They still co-ordinate medications for depression,etc. It sounds like a place to start! (Comng from one whose's AH still can "control it"; doesn't have a "problem", quack,quack,quack......)

Good luck to you both!

elizabeth1979

Its not so much the $25.00 as it is the fact that this is his pattern. I tell him to leave, and he throws out some b.s. attempt to help himself, and its all a lie, an attempt to hook me into letting him stay.
I dont like this feeling.

TomsGirl

Didn't he just say this on national TV? :
Dan was asked what would he do if I threw him out again. Would he get a job and get himself help, or would he just find someone else that would enable him?
His answer was, he would just find somone else.

I would say go with your gut feelings whatever they may be.

meli2005

Well, if he's getting a job, then he should have the money soon to get on Antabuse. I think a lot of A's like to take a pill to try to stop drinking. My AH tried Antabuse several years ago and drank on it. Of course, he also wasn't that compliant with it either. There are some better meds that might take away the cravings liek Naltrexone and Campral, but those are just tools, work still has to be done and there has to be a desire to get better. AH has also tried both of those drugs, they did not do that much for him either.

If he has consistently done this type of pattern, then I would question it. GO with your gut instinct on it.

Pick-a-name

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I see your dilemma. Makes me feel like saying;In that case,while you are at it, get the $25 there. Call me if and when you get serious and maybe we will talk about it--THEN.

TexasGirl

My gut reaction is this...
- If it's not a con, he will prove himself to you in due time. Could you set a time frame for you to reconsider? Six months or one or two years of active recovery?
- If it is a con, thank heavens you're spotting it.
- To me, Antabuse at its root doesn't make sense...if they want to be sober, they must be mentally ready. Antabuse only states to me that they are not ready enough to really think they're quitting. They must still be thinking they might drink or else it wouldn't be necessary. JMO, I really don't know much about the effectiveness.

Be careful.

LaTeeDa

In my case, I threatened to kick him out numerous times. He always gave me promises and I let him stay. He always went right back to his ways. The last time I told him that words don't do it for me anymore. I told him he had to leave and in six months I would consider letting him come back if I saw in his actions that he was serious about his promises. The six months is up next month and I may just decide to extend it some more because I am still not sure.

I have been happier in the last 5 months (after the initial sadness) than I was in the last 4 years. I'm not sure I would be as happy if he moved back in right now. That is why I am not making that decision yet.

If he is serious, he will SHOW you, not TELL you.

Just my two cents. Take what helps and leave the rest.

L

FormerDoormat

Hello!!! Giving Dan the money for Anatabuse is ENABLING him. He's staring a new job. Let him pay for it when his money starts rolling in. He's asking you to pay for his prescription because he KNOWS you will. He's hoping to guilt you into doing something that you don't want to do. He's inviting you to continue the drama. He's manipulating you AGAIN.

The question is: Will you fall for it or not? The choice is yours. Only you can end this drama.

Dr. Phil is right. YOUR'E NOT HELPING HIM.

TomsGirl

My husband got antabuse from his Dr ... to appease me and to try and throw me off track. He even told me to be the one to physically give him his daily dose. He would put the pill in the corner of his mouth and then spit it out when I wasn't looking. But he paid for the pills himself ... wasn't my money going in the trash for nothing.

elizabeth1979

Yeah, I dont like the way this looks. He told me once he couldnt go on antabuse bc of his existing liver damage. Just dont feel comfortable with this. You guys rock, I needed to hear that reinfocement.

FormerDoormat

Stay strong, Elizabeth, and ignore his BS. You CAN do it! Cheering you on....

Zoey

Is this the one that was on TV?? Did you read my post where I said they come back lots of times. WOW! really soon.
Go ahead, I would pay for it, if it works it is worth the money, and we never know???

Course he may need it to play nice to catch a new enabler.
I just feel nasty today.
Really, go with your gut then we don't regret.
I know how hard these decessions are . I really hope he makes it work, just maybe have no expectations.
Thats where he is today, will that last till tomarrow?? If it were me I might change my mind many times where Rx's are involved. HUGS

CodeMaster

Everytime I tried to leave my ex, thats always the time she would throw out some BS to change and be nice instead of angry at all times and she would show her best behavior then but after I let her back into my heart, thats when she started to not give a **** anymore and the cycle repeats!

Its a stunt!

Tell ya what, tell him go ahead and heal up! When he's healed up pretty good, say a year of sobriety and attitude change, ask him to give ya a call. Afterall, with that attitude, he can always find someone else he should go ahead cause you can find someone so much better EASILY!

Its so hard I know, I never had the strength to leave my ex, it was a blessing she has left me and I cant tell you how great it really is. I never wouldve met my angel, my healthy beautiful precious angel I'm with today!

Best wishes to you...

minnie

It's a test, hon. To see whether you listened to Dr P.

Changed the locks yet?

Pick-a-name

There is YOUR answerX2!

I guess you do know what you think. Go with YOUR gut. It will give you peace of mind, and that is what is most important for you to decide.

thiswebs4u

My wife was on this. She would have to pick it up and take it to a monitoring establishment. She said this cost $15 a month, this may just be a co-pay. Does he have a monitoring establishment.

JessicaNAJ

My thought.....if he was serious, he would find the $25 to help himself. If he does that....then give him one year of sobriety to show you what he is capable of. After a year, you can decide if he is the person you want or not.

if is walks like a duck, sounds like a duck....it's probably a duck.

FriendofBill

and who says he needs outpatient? Him?

Only after an evaluation with an addictionologist or intake counselor can in or put patient recommendation be made.

Sounds like hes trying to control you right into his web.

Tell him to suit up, show up for the eval at an tx center.....and then you;ll talk.

Gabe

Well Elizabeth, you summed it all up pretty well right there.
Ain't it amazin' how they all of a sudden want to clean up when their meal ticket goes poof?
Stand your ground, you know the right way to go.