Question?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: bedford,indiana
Posts: 8
Question?
How would i know for sure if my b/f was a acoholic?
he drinks all weekend and through the week as long as it's not during his busy time at work.which is January -April, he mostly drinks the weekend then.he seems either high or low most of the time(moody)when his friends are around he's mostly happy,when we're alone i see him more depressed and complaining about work and his friends,there are alot of good times and fun also
he drinks all weekend and through the week as long as it's not during his busy time at work.which is January -April, he mostly drinks the weekend then.he seems either high or low most of the time(moody)when his friends are around he's mostly happy,when we're alone i see him more depressed and complaining about work and his friends,there are alot of good times and fun also
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
minnie's right sunlight - all that matters is how is the relationship making you feel? start looking at your feelings and why you feel the need to know whether or not he's an alcoholic. start working on you and what you want out of life and a relationship.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Does this describe your relationship, Sunlight? I know it didn't describe mine.
"Your partner wants you to realize your dreams and will do anything to help achieve them.
They are self-sufficient and complete human beings. If not, then you must neglect part of yourself in some way to compensate for their deficiency.
They take responsibility for their own happiness. It is not your job.
They don’t use negative tactics for getting their own way or dominating you. Criticism, put-downs, guilt, shame, intolerance, neglect, combativeness, aggression, and threat; the list goes on. Silence can be a negative tactic, if there is communication that needs to take place, and so can defensiveness.
When they speak to you, it is always with love, acceptance and approval.
They support and respect your ideas, beliefs and wishes no matter how different from their own.
Your self-esteem improves when you are together.
Your circle of friends grows.
They do little things to please you.
When something bothers you, they are truly concerned.
They help resolve problems.
They help you find time for yourself. Without this you will never grow.
They share in responsibilities, even with things that are unpleasant or mundane.
Your time is just as valuable as theirs.
They give you freedom to try new things, take chances and to make mistakes. Human beings are constantly evolving and are not meant to be caged physically, emotionally or psychologically.
In short, they provide the security, love and nurturing that is required for you to soar where life itself is wonderful and the relationships are an added bonus. Because you are willing to do the same for them, the relationship will continue to scale new heights while love, honor and respect grows deeper and broader."
~Peggy Walton
"Your partner wants you to realize your dreams and will do anything to help achieve them.
They are self-sufficient and complete human beings. If not, then you must neglect part of yourself in some way to compensate for their deficiency.
They take responsibility for their own happiness. It is not your job.
They don’t use negative tactics for getting their own way or dominating you. Criticism, put-downs, guilt, shame, intolerance, neglect, combativeness, aggression, and threat; the list goes on. Silence can be a negative tactic, if there is communication that needs to take place, and so can defensiveness.
When they speak to you, it is always with love, acceptance and approval.
They support and respect your ideas, beliefs and wishes no matter how different from their own.
Your self-esteem improves when you are together.
Your circle of friends grows.
They do little things to please you.
When something bothers you, they are truly concerned.
They help resolve problems.
They help you find time for yourself. Without this you will never grow.
They share in responsibilities, even with things that are unpleasant or mundane.
Your time is just as valuable as theirs.
They give you freedom to try new things, take chances and to make mistakes. Human beings are constantly evolving and are not meant to be caged physically, emotionally or psychologically.
In short, they provide the security, love and nurturing that is required for you to soar where life itself is wonderful and the relationships are an added bonus. Because you are willing to do the same for them, the relationship will continue to scale new heights while love, honor and respect grows deeper and broader."
~Peggy Walton
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: bedford,indiana
Posts: 8
we have always said are biggest problem is communication, when i tell him something that bothers me, he usually gets mad and very defensive, i usually feel worse afterwards than i did before,that's why i broke it off so many times i never felt like he showed any compassion for my feelings , he was more concerned about how i made him feel when i would tell him something that was bothering me ,instead of how i was feeling.
thanks minnie there were alot of things that you said that i honestly can't say that he does;in some ways i haven't been able to even give as much as i would like in this relationship ,there is so much confusion about how i think he feels about me,so i'm afraid to give back too much; he says he really loves me and think there is a future here;we've been together 11/2 years.but sometimes i just don't see that happening;i guess maybe i need to go with my gut feelings,we split up before christmas and we're still talking; i think he wants me to change my reactions towards him when my feelings get hurt;instead us agreeing we both need to change
thanks minnie there were alot of things that you said that i honestly can't say that he does;in some ways i haven't been able to even give as much as i would like in this relationship ,there is so much confusion about how i think he feels about me,so i'm afraid to give back too much; he says he really loves me and think there is a future here;we've been together 11/2 years.but sometimes i just don't see that happening;i guess maybe i need to go with my gut feelings,we split up before christmas and we're still talking; i think he wants me to change my reactions towards him when my feelings get hurt;instead us agreeing we both need to change
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