are we always last?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: bedford,indiana
Posts: 8
are we always last?
my boyfriend wants to hang out with his friends all the time. i feel second place even third place sometimes.will this ever change?will i ever be his best friend?
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I don't know the answer to your questions but, it sounds like you are in pain and for that I am sorry.
Please try to find a way to take care of yourself thru this as long as drinking is a priorty for your B/F probably you will be far down on his list.
Please try to find a way to take care of yourself thru this as long as drinking is a priorty for your B/F probably you will be far down on his list.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Hi Sunlight..
Please read lots of the posts on here, and Please go to some Al-Anon meetings.
My thought is, Yes! where alcohol is concerned we are always last.
Many on here have said they wished someone would have told them to run, before they married and had childern. It just gets worse, unless they want sobriety, but usually no one wants sobriety.
Just my 2 cents, Take what you can use and leave the rest, but do keep coming back and read, read, read. I know it hurts so bad. HUGS
Please read lots of the posts on here, and Please go to some Al-Anon meetings.
My thought is, Yes! where alcohol is concerned we are always last.
Many on here have said they wished someone would have told them to run, before they married and had childern. It just gets worse, unless they want sobriety, but usually no one wants sobriety.
Just my 2 cents, Take what you can use and leave the rest, but do keep coming back and read, read, read. I know it hurts so bad. HUGS
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
I'll tell you what, Sunlight - until I became my own best friend, I was always going to be with people who treated me badly.
Imagine that your friend was in your situation. What advice would you give her?
Imagine that your friend was in your situation. What advice would you give her?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I think that's corrrect
If you are your own best friend you never come last. Having faith in an alcoholic holds them to a standard they can't live up to. You can not rely on them but you can rely on yourself.
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Ditto to all the above.......
If alcohol is in the picture and he is alcoholic, then yes, we will always take last place.
Sad fact of alcoholism.
Today, Im first place with some good people in my life. At least, thats how they make me feel.
If alcohol is in the picture and he is alcoholic, then yes, we will always take last place.
Sad fact of alcoholism.
Today, Im first place with some good people in my life. At least, thats how they make me feel.
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Like Minnie said "we need to be our own best friends". I now put my own happiness first, what is good for the kids and I. I no longer try to make him happy and as a result he is. Letting go isn't easy but it can happen. Why not learn a new hobby or read a book anything but focus on them. When we do that we drive ourselves crazy. I actually bought a bird and now I talk to it, better than to talk to a wall which is almost the same as trying to rationalize with someone in the thraos of alcoholism. Just call me the crazy bird lady. Do something nice for u sunlight, don't let him drag u down or let u feel like u always are on the backburner. 
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