now what? need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 29
now what? need advice
Hi all,
I'm confused. I am starting this process and I'm overwhelmed. Baby steps, I am trying to take care of myself and my interests and get some order in life before I make BIG plans about what to do with this mess. I am sprucing up my house because it makes me feel good and like there's less chaos, just little things like organizings my laundry room and catching up on little home repairs I couldn't do when I was PG or with a little baby. I figure it will be good in case I decide to sell the house next spring too. Anyway, little changes like that, and Thurs. night is game night with my son. This weekend I am opening my own checking account--scary! AH is going to be mad.
Not to start a pity party, but when in comes to recovery I feel like I still think about AH constantly and obssessively only in a different way, as in how screwed up my every thought is.
I know that sounds totally pathetic and maybe I'm exagerating but I don't know how to manage how overwhelming this all has become. It's like, great, now I'm sick, and recovery is a big job and in the mean time I still am Mrs. Do it All. I think I am just so fed up that I should have left a long time ago but was hanging on for the kids. Yesterday he was sober and I even resented him for being all happy and normal because my life is a rollercoaster and I don't know who to expect when I walk in the door. I was really grumpy to him. I work full time and the thought of going to a meeting seems like one more obligation but I know I should at least check it out. Any other advice on how to take this awareness and turn it into a better life for myself? Is this a common experience? 
I'm confused. I am starting this process and I'm overwhelmed. Baby steps, I am trying to take care of myself and my interests and get some order in life before I make BIG plans about what to do with this mess. I am sprucing up my house because it makes me feel good and like there's less chaos, just little things like organizings my laundry room and catching up on little home repairs I couldn't do when I was PG or with a little baby. I figure it will be good in case I decide to sell the house next spring too. Anyway, little changes like that, and Thurs. night is game night with my son. This weekend I am opening my own checking account--scary! AH is going to be mad.
Not to start a pity party, but when in comes to recovery I feel like I still think about AH constantly and obssessively only in a different way, as in how screwed up my every thought is.
I know that sounds totally pathetic and maybe I'm exagerating but I don't know how to manage how overwhelming this all has become. It's like, great, now I'm sick, and recovery is a big job and in the mean time I still am Mrs. Do it All. I think I am just so fed up that I should have left a long time ago but was hanging on for the kids. Yesterday he was sober and I even resented him for being all happy and normal because my life is a rollercoaster and I don't know who to expect when I walk in the door. I was really grumpy to him. I work full time and the thought of going to a meeting seems like one more obligation but I know I should at least check it out. Any other advice on how to take this awareness and turn it into a better life for myself? Is this a common experience? 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dennis, ms
Posts: 28
I'm not with my A husband any more but I wish I had been going to Al-non meetings more when I was with him for it would have done me a lot of good and hopefully I wouldn't have lost my sense of my self and feelings.
I would recommend going to the meetings for you and not if it helps with your husband too than what is there to lose.
I'm going to the meetings now and they are helping me out alot.
Also this forum helps too cause it reminds me that I'm not alone either.
Hugs!
I would recommend going to the meetings for you and not if it helps with your husband too than what is there to lose.
I'm going to the meetings now and they are helping me out alot.
Also this forum helps too cause it reminds me that I'm not alone either.
Hugs!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
