new here and looking help
living with an AH
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Fremont NC
Posts: 1
new here and looking help
I am a newcomer and dont know where to start. I am married to an AH. We have been married 5 yrs and he was drunk the day we got married.In Aug of 2004 he quite drinking but he also stopped showing me any affiction. He went untill Oct of 2005 with out a drink then he started drinking again.Now that he is back at it he thinks that I am to be willing to give him the love that he wants. Am I wrong to feel that if he could not love me without the beer how can i know that he loves me only with the beer. He was drinking 2 - 3 40 oz beers before now he is drinking 4-5 or more a day eveyday. Can any one give me advice on what I should do. I am at the end of my rope and tired of crying I dont know if I can hang on much longer. 
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Welcome to SR
Tough to remember those days for me. Newly married, still hanging on to the premarried life and starting a new life-at the same time as the alcohol intake.
I do remember that I had more desire when drinking, till I had so much beer that I couldn't. It can be a combination of things.
What I would think would be best for you right now...
Read the posts that say sticky beside them and maybe think about locating Al Anon meetings in your area.
Your not alone and there is support and help available.
Tough to remember those days for me. Newly married, still hanging on to the premarried life and starting a new life-at the same time as the alcohol intake.
I do remember that I had more desire when drinking, till I had so much beer that I couldn't. It can be a combination of things.
What I would think would be best for you right now...
Read the posts that say sticky beside them and maybe think about locating Al Anon meetings in your area.
Your not alone and there is support and help available.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR... we are glad you found us.
I know when you get to the point of finally opening up and seeking help it usually feels like a life or death situation... at least that was true for me. I was on the brink of insanity (or I though) before I sought help.
My suggestion is to learn as much about this disease as you can, find some Al-anon and keep going till you find one you like. You dont have to make decision right now, but I strongly suggest that you remove the focus from him and put it back on you. You will need support to get to a place that has some senerity in your life.
I know when you get to the point of finally opening up and seeking help it usually feels like a life or death situation... at least that was true for me. I was on the brink of insanity (or I though) before I sought help.
My suggestion is to learn as much about this disease as you can, find some Al-anon and keep going till you find one you like. You dont have to make decision right now, but I strongly suggest that you remove the focus from him and put it back on you. You will need support to get to a place that has some senerity in your life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Welcome DA,with some alcoholics,they feel that the bozze gives them more confidence.I know for me,it gave me that false sence,of bravery.I was shy,with-drawn,give me a sip of booze,i could talk your ears off,not knowing what im saying or doing of course.Without my crutch,i was lost.Alcohol is but a symbole,to my living problems.I had a living problem.In recovery i learn a new way to live.Learning to over-come my shyness,living life on lifes terms without the crutch,that was destroying me.Had nothing at all to do with any one else.Although im sure,that others did think it was about them.It wasnt.
Al-anon is a great recovery program for the family and friends of alcoholics.Cant say enough good things about this program..
..........
My,sweety-heart, Boston,Bull terrier
is here waiting to drag me to da puppy park.
Here we go------
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,and take care!!!!
Al-anon is a great recovery program for the family and friends of alcoholics.Cant say enough good things about this program..
..........
My,sweety-heart, Boston,Bull terrier
is here waiting to drag me to da puppy park.
Here we go------
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,and take care!!!!
((( ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY )))
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: manchester connecticut
Posts: 106
Welcome to SR!!!
Keep posting here. You will get alot of support, and possibly the help you need. Sounds to me like he needs to surrender to his addiction before anything good bad or indifferent happens. I wish you all the luck in the world. Ive dealt with a similiar situation so if you feel like PMing me, please do. Until then Good luck! Jennifer
(( ROSES2005 ))
Keep posting here. You will get alot of support, and possibly the help you need. Sounds to me like he needs to surrender to his addiction before anything good bad or indifferent happens. I wish you all the luck in the world. Ive dealt with a similiar situation so if you feel like PMing me, please do. Until then Good luck! Jennifer
(( ROSES2005 ))
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