parents of alcoholics:
 

how do you handle this misery and heartache? so many posts on here are either husbands and wives, but our children.....how do we not let their problems affect us as well? i get so angry when my son starts this nonsense, but then the anger goes away and i'm so sad and so full of worry. sometimes i get so mad i try to convince myself that i really don't care what happens - i'm fooling myself. all i can think about is WHAT is going to happen to him. i don't want to face the fact that this just might kill him or land him in jail for a long time. how do i let this obsession go!!!!! a parent wants to protect their children but it's impossible to protect them from this horrible disease, from jail, even from death.

we live in a rural part of georgia and there isn't much out there in the form of al-anon, but i'm going to look around. i have to talk to others who are living thru this nightmare...time after time after time. i must find out how to deal with my feelings about how i feel about me and how i feel about my son. sometimes i feel so guilty as how i feel about my son - those times when i'm so angry i could choke him into some sense!!!!! then those times when i sit and cry worrying if he's alive, safe, or what.

this group is a life-force really. a sounding board, a venting station, and a place where caring, loving people are there for you.

thanks for being here, jane

Yes Jane..I know

After a decade of dealing with my 2...
and ironically beginning to drink myself....

I said no more...no contact. They were then 27 and 28.
I did do Alanon but mostly found the strengjt thru God.

Here it is...20 years later...

I daily pray Ross is safe...he has been missing 10 years.

Anne got sober during her 2nd prison sentence...she sounded good at Christmas and is living with her daughter in St, Louis

I dropped out of Al anon and
I am active in Paulding Co. AA I moved here 7 years ago.
Howdy neighbor! :bandit:

We have 1 Al anon meeting in Dallas...let me know if you want to come up. I think it is on Wed, at 8.

Blessings to you and your famiily...

dear carol, thanks for replying. how did you ever get by these 10 years not knowing about your son? that's what i fear most - his going away and my never hearing from him again. not knowing if he's dead or alive. i don't know how i'd deal with that heartache. perhaps the years make you stronger. you are truly a miracle to have survived thru all of your ordeals. as for al-anon, it will be hard for me for i work at night, but i will try to find somewhere. perhaps if i have off on a wednesday i can look up the place you are talking about.

my son's last ordeal surfaced last thursday. haven't heard from him since friday morning when i told him he had to leave my house - he wasn't welcome here anymore. this is his pattern when he goes on one of his binges. as long as his money holds out he will drink and probably stay at a motel. it's when the money runs out that i have to think about next. that's usually when i hear from him. i guess i'm scared that scenario may well change and i won't hear from him at all.

it's really insane to continue time after time. that's exactly what it is - insanity.

your troubles led you to drink - i'm the exact opposite - i despise alcohol.

i will pray for you and your children - especially your son, that he is safe.

i went to church this morning and it really felt good to be there. i have great support from my church - they know the problems we are dealing with.

it's funny tho - everyone says, "let me know if there is anything i can do". if only it were that simple!!!!!

love and prayers to you carol (neighbor).

jane

Lucy - I know what you mean. It's a bit different when the alcoholic is your child. It's so very hard to practice detachment.

My only child (daughter, age 22) is an alcoholic, and I have experienced numerous life threatening epidodes this year (suicide attempts, alcohol related hospitalizations, police involvement and her lockup for being drunk in public).

I have been working my program very hard this year, or I would be in a bad shape. My Al-anon meetings kept me sane and calm during some very terrible times.

Recovery works, Lucy.

Keep coming back.

robina, i feel your pain. thanks for replying.

prayers for you and your daughter. jane