splendra

This statement implies that she does not have the good sense to know when she is in pain from having her ankle broken in two places and also that a bi-polar has no clue....this is not protecting her dignaty it is saying hey I think you are too messed up and your friend is too stupid to know that you have a broken ankle...dude look at yourself and be aware that this is arrogance on your part...she maybe a drunk but, even drunk I am sure she could feel her ankle and she might have even had the presence of mind to go to the doctor on her own. And you know what if you had not rescued her she might have had the oppertunity to feel the pain of her addiction thru this broken ankle but it is like you said you had to rescue her...

I know that I may sound a little harsh here but you arranging her trip to her parents and to the doctor and to court is not helping her and it could be very well keep her from getting in touch with her dignaty. If she had come to you and asked you to help her get sober that would be one thing. The thing is she has to want to get recovery more than you want her to and if she does not want it all your effort will be in vain and it could very well blow up in your face...I have seen it happen too many times it does not matter how much the people around her care if she does not care it don't matter. You may think that now she can't hurt or embarrass you any more than she already has if you let go maybe...but, if you stay with this rescue mode you might be going down again and your kids too cause the disease of addiction is never finished....

I grew up in active addiction and my 3 siblings and my Husband are active addicts and I know the rescue thing inside out and backwards, I have done it since I was 5 years old so I believe I am qualified to speak strongly on this... being a rescuer is the worst thing you can do if your goal is to stop addiction in your life or someone elses...

guyinNC

Christian, our lives are similar. Yes, I'm trying to run away too.

Splendra, you have a good point. Did this rescue keep her from reaching her bottom? I discussed this with her friend's significant other. We knew that my wife was out of commision with her broken foot and could no longer drive. Her friend was in a manic up phase, drunk and off her medication. She had access to my wifes car and her money. The SO said it was very likely this girl would drive drunk. We decided we could not allow this to happen and we went for the car to disable it. We could not allow an innocent person to possibly die from these two drunks being on the road.

The wife was on strong pain killers and on wine. No... she was not capable at the time of making any rational decision. Her friend, IMO, is insane.

I also rescued her to save Christmas for me and the girls. I did not want her to ruin the holidays for the kids. I vowed to save her this time.

I think I was successful....my last rescue. I kept Christmas from being ruined for my kids and I think I may have saved an innocent life.

If I prevented her from reaching her bottom at this time, thats no longer my concern.

I want only the best for her.....but some of my actions were done for me.

robina

I'm glad to hear you say that, because it's the truth.

When I was rescuing and ennabling my daughter, it was because I couldn't face the pain of watching her suffer. It was all about my pain, not about what was best for her.

I will no longer stand in the way if/when my daughter is falling towards her bottom. I believe with all my heart that doing so will cause a lot more damage to her, than stepping in and rescuing her.

Also, I now see how arrogant I was to assume that I was more intelligent and more capable, than another human being. The decisions they make, and the results they experience are between them and God. I no longer believe that I am my daughter's higher power. She has a program, and she has a higher power. I work very hard to be at peace with that.

I'm not trying to judge you, Guy. I'm just emotional about this because I fully understand the gut wrenching anxiety and pain of watching a loved one self destruct from this disease. Recovery is not for sissies.

Love to you and your family

Robin