tinky27

Hi, i havent posted here for ages but just wanted your opinions of something, my ab has had drinking probs for the 10 yrs we have been together, nothing ive said or done has helped and he refused to see it as an issue, even though it caused so many probs in our relationship. 9 weeks ago he broke and admitted he was an alcholic, i promised him i would help and we have since been to the doctors together for help, he hasnt drunk (that i know of) for 9 weeks now. He dosnt want to join aa as feels he is managing it fine so far. Trouble is and i know i sound like a cow here, now hes sober everyone is saying how great he looks and how well hes doing which he is, he deserves praise cause hes done so well and im proud of him. But i tend to feel like what about the last 10 yrs of crap ive put up with from you? its like hes sober so lets move on and be happy but i cant . He dosnt take any responsibility for things that hes done which have caused so much unhappiness with me and the kids etc, How can i just get on with it now? I feel like its all too late for us and then i feel guilty cause hes sober and im now the one who wont move on after hes made such a leap forward.

any advice would be super thanks

gelfling

You're seeing the difference between a person who says He Can Do It On His Own - vs- Someone who works a program with AA. The majority of the people in the program work the steps, which helps assist with their recovery. He has nothing to go on other than what's in his head and that is definitely so very wrong.

At this point, going to alanon would be the best thing for you. You need understanding and support for yourself and the kids. You're not going to get it from him. He thinks he's "cured". But you know, there is no cure. They just go into remission and will be recovering for the rest of their lives.

Please find alanon for yourself and see if there's any alatot/alateen you can get the kids to.

Blessings

tinky27

Thankyou for your replies, ive looked and cant find any alanon groups in my area, will have to look harder im sure there must be something out there, i knew they done teen groups but not tots ones, my son has just turned 9 and i think hes pretty aware of what goes on what i good idea, He def thinks hes 'cured' and of course he isnt and 9 weeks is still early days, i think yes hes done great to not drink but hes not addressing any of the reasons (if there are any) why he drank to start with or talking through his emotional recovery, hes still moody and angry and we just arent getting on at all, in the last few days we have hardly spoken. He thinks i should be sorted and happy now as hes sober and 'isnt it what ive always wanted' think i may try and talk to him about joining aa or somewhere