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-   -   Awful My Dad's Side (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/81512-awful-my-dads-side.html)

kimberly1 12-30-2005 08:45 PM

Awful My Dad's Side
 
My Dad's side of the family has been playing this little hate game towards us (my mom, and my three sisters) for our entire lives. I have almost never received a birthday card or christmas card from any of them, let alone presents. They are extremely critical of us and look for ways to constantly put us down. I am depressed because my dad is an addict/alcoholic, and I think they blame me and my sisters and mom for all of his troubles. My Grandmother is the worst of all. She has never fully approved of me or accepted me and now IM 30 and working towards improving my self esteem. My Grandmother's acceptance of me now has only marginal importance, and I hope to move past all of this hate. Its the holidays and once again she showed up at our house with no gifts and nothing but critical remarks and put downs for me and my sisters. For some reason she has chosen me to pick on most of all. I HATE THE BITCH. I can now honestly say it. I have been afraid to say it for years. But I DO! She is the WORST! I now fully accept that she is a BITCH and I make efforts to stay away from her.

The story with my alcoholic/addict dad is like volumes worth of material. Im trying to get my degree now because I was forced out of the house when I was younger due to the excessive violence. Now Im back on my terms. My grandmother is doing her DAMNEST to get me out and to screw up my college plans.

Well Im depressed. If anyone can offer any type of words of support or wisdom I would appreciate it.

best 12-30-2005 08:50 PM

What I have found in life...
Those who berate others are doing so because of their own guilt, shame, or denial. Their attitude has them act just like attitude is a drug and denial plays right along with it.

Take things from where they come and just keep your side of the street clean that way you know where you stand...even when they don't agree.

preciouz 12-30-2005 09:06 PM

Hey, We are here for you. Family like that, in the end, Don't matter. Your dad's side is exactly my my dad's side. Grandma and all. I haven't seen her in about 2 years now. The last time she came by was because her and my aunt were mad at my uncle, and they came threating us and our pets. Its so stupid. I also agree with Best. Don't worry about it. They are not worth it.

FriendofBill 12-31-2005 01:51 PM

Choices.

We have em. You can make a choice to not include her in your life. Your old enough now.

I no longer allow toxic people to invade my space. My 13 yr old son has made that decision too towards HIS grandmother, who sounds like an identical twin to yours.

He choses to not allow her pessimism, anger, manipualtion invade him. Im sure she blames me,,but oh well.

Choices. We get to make them, not matter HOW much others dont like us for it.

gelfling 12-31-2005 02:50 PM

ditto to Bests' post. You know you're doing what's best for you. They can't stand it. They can't control your life and make you as miserable as they are. Keep up the good work.


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