meli2005

I just feel overwhelmed again. AH is going thru some changes on his meds for bipolar and the manic symptoms are showing through. It's hard to deal with the changing moods and the manic moods make him want to drink, etc . Went with him to the psychiatrist today to talk more about the meds. I just don't want to be going thru this again. It makes me feel crazy. I don't want the drinking to start all over again either.

Sometimes I feel like i just don't have anything left in reserves. I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I work full time as a nurse and I have a 19 month old little boy. So constantly needed. I just keep praying to the Lord to give me strength to get thru all this.

Thanks, guys for listening to me. Means a lot.

robina

I know the feeling.

Dealing with the alcoholism is bad enough, but when mental illness is there also, it makes it so much harder. I had to sign my alcoholic daughter into the psych ward this summer when she started having manic and psychotic episodes. They diagonosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder. It was so scary and frightening. I didn't know how to handle it.

You also have a small child, which adds to your responsibilities.

I found that I very much needed the additional help of a counsellor (in addition to the 3 Al-anon meetings I attend every week). The "one on one" time with the counsellor every three weeks was very helpful when my stress levels were going through the roof.

What can you do to take care of yourself right now? Any small things you can do to get away, relax, etc.. will be helpful to your mental health.

I hope you have a happy and restful Xmas with your husband and son.

Robin

equus

Okay - here goes! Rant alert!

I find it confusing and sad that an alcoholic dealing with mental health problems is not considered to be self harming when they lapse in a reasonable attempt to stop drinking. If D had cut himself he would have triggered more help, but at times of real distress he drank and that had the opposite effect - removing any help. It isn't like professionals don't know the combination is a nightmare, it isn't that they don't know it's a REAL danger for someone to drink if they're addicted - there's enough research to make that clear. Yet it plays a poor second to even a small self inflicted cut on the arm! WHY? It makes me so sad.

I think families need help, not to be left playing the roles qualified professionals should play, not to be left overwhelmed and distressed - can you imagine the equivilant in a physical problem?

Meli - WE (as in society) shouldn't be just leaving you to deal with this - it isn't anything lacking in you that's leaving you feeling so overwhelmed. I believe it's GENUINELY overwhelming and needing so much support. I agree with Robina re individual counselling, some one to one time to get YOU in the best place possible to get through. I'm so sorry this is happening to you now - I just hope things begin to balance out as they sometimes can.

Take care of yourself.

TexasGirl

That does sound like a lot to deal with. Not only would individual counseling be a way to work through it all, but it would probably provide a form of much needed "me time." Add that to some real me time, and maybe that would help.

reikihelps

I hear ya Meli. My son is bipolar and has addiction issues. It can be exhausting. Do everything you can think of to take care of yourself. Do you have a babysitter for an occasional break? Do you have a few confidants? I don't think I could do this withou a therapist for me. And I can turn to family when I need to also. I have to remember to reach out when I'm up to my eyeballs in alligators.
And Eq, we have to do a long discussion on the lack of connection in the mental health/addiction help available. Right now I'm trying to stay focused on Holiday prep so I won't get revved up, but I could write a book. "The system" is so disjointed.
best wishes,
RH