I have to tell you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 240
I just started posting here but I want you to know that I know how you are feeling right now. A similar thing happened to my husband while he was 200 miles away. He ended up in a psych hospital and did not want me to come to him. I didn't but I wanted to so bad. It's hard to be so far away from your husband when you really want to be there for him but maybe it happened this way for a reason. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Phil tried to control himself at xmas works do. failed
he's 180 miles away. he's out of control. full of remorse for failing.
wants me to give up on him, says he's not good enough for me.
unable to get home, says not to come for him, says he's a hopless case.
says he'll probably die.
he's 180 miles away. he's out of control. full of remorse for failing.
wants me to give up on him, says he's not good enough for me.
unable to get home, says not to come for him, says he's a hopless case.
says he'll probably die.
Try not to argue because everytime you say he is worth it the first thing that will come to mind is that he isn't. With D when he's very depressed I use 'smoke bombs' - he says a pile of negative stuff I drop a 'smoke bomb' can you get somehwere safe for now? etc. He says it's hopeless - I drop another 'smoke bomb' How much do you think you've had to drink? or Have you eaten?. Just being there talking to him is saying the rest so you don't have to spell it out that you still care.
All I can say is that's what I found helped - I'm trying to imagine your smoke bombs which isn't easy. I know from my own experience when I'm on a real downer on myself I just think anything positive said to me is wrong and my head can come up with 50 reasons why!
Above all Susane keep thinking what you need to - you're a person in all of this and worth as much as he is, don't forget that
.HUGE hugs to you - sorry it took me so long to get back.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Maybe we can Christie....
Susane wrap your arms round yourself really tight - really tight and feel a hug from all of us. We are SO THERE WITH YOU!!
Edit - you've gone, make that a wake up hug. I'll be around in the morning if you want to chat.
Susane wrap your arms round yourself really tight - really tight and feel a hug from all of us. We are SO THERE WITH YOU!!
Edit - you've gone, make that a wake up hug. I'll be around in the morning if you want to chat.
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Oh Susane, I am so sorry. I will say some prayers for both of you tonight. I feel for him that he feels so low. It is hard around the holidays, I hope he will soon realize that it is not the end of the world. My hubby felt bad too when he had a relapse. I pray he is ok! Hugs out to you tonight! With love,
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I'm so sorry for what's happened, Susane. But all is not lost. It's just a slip. And one slip doesn't mean that he can't get back on track. Phil has proven to you through his actions these last 22 weeks that he wants to get sober more than anything.
If he were my partner, I'd tell him I love him, I always did, and I always will. I'd tell him that I'm proud of what he's accomplished thus far and that I have faith that he can turn things around and get back on track. I'd tell him that tomorrow is another day, another chance to get things right. I'd ask him to think about what caused this slip and to use it as a learning experience, one that will make him stronger in his resolve to reach sobriety.
I'd tell him that I'll never give up on him. That he hasn't failed, he merely had a setback. I'd tell him that it's never hopeless and he is good enough for his Higher Power and he's good enough for me.
When things seem hopeless, all is not lost. After all, tomorrow is another day."
If he were my partner, I'd tell him I love him, I always did, and I always will. I'd tell him that I'm proud of what he's accomplished thus far and that I have faith that he can turn things around and get back on track. I'd tell him that tomorrow is another day, another chance to get things right. I'd ask him to think about what caused this slip and to use it as a learning experience, one that will make him stronger in his resolve to reach sobriety.
I'd tell him that I'll never give up on him. That he hasn't failed, he merely had a setback. I'd tell him that it's never hopeless and he is good enough for his Higher Power and he's good enough for me.
When things seem hopeless, all is not lost. After all, tomorrow is another day."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Susane's asked me to pass on that P told his landlady he is an alcoholic and thankfully she has some experience and has been helpful. She arranged with Susane to pick him up so that's what she's doing.
Her message was quite short but sounded more positive than last night.
I hope she had time to see how many people were in this thread before she set off!
Everyone's here for you susane!!
Her message was quite short but sounded more positive than last night.
I hope she had time to see how many people were in this thread before she set off!
Everyone's here for you susane!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
