My best friend and the A in my life.... please read!
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
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My best friend and the A in my life.... please read!
There seems to be a lot of negative thinking on this board lately. And all are welcome to vent because this place is safe, and those here are very caring.
Please though in this time of stress and festivities find time to think, and then... think some more. Alanon teaches us to detach, with love from those who are in such pain that turning to the bottle is their only solution... and a poor one at that. It kills kindness, intimacy,happiness and serenity. And not just yours... theirs too... until they consume more and more to get away from it.
Please keep in mind these are human beings. More fragile of ego than even we (without the booze). More deserving of kindness than perhaps many of the people we will ever meet. And if we arent capable or they are not deserving of our kindness.... walk away... just walk away.
Cruel words do nothing but perpetuate a cycle of abuse. Both our abuse of the alcoholic and their abuse of both us and a substance that alters mental physical and emotional ability.
This year I am thankful.. thankful that when given a choice of engaging in a series of arguements with my A whom I love dearly... I walked away... and in walking away... he was open to the miracle only God could bring to his life. I thank God I had enough program that I didnt engage.. I didnt unleash all the anger and hurt I had... I walked away without saying a word. And in that.. I truly discovered I didnt want to be that cruel person. I didnt want to be that hateful person. Kicking an Alcoholic when they are down is equal in my eyes to hitting a small child or a puppy. They are people... please in the spirit of the holiday... remember to treat your loved ones with kindness... for in that.. is the true spirit of Goodness.
quietsins
Please though in this time of stress and festivities find time to think, and then... think some more. Alanon teaches us to detach, with love from those who are in such pain that turning to the bottle is their only solution... and a poor one at that. It kills kindness, intimacy,happiness and serenity. And not just yours... theirs too... until they consume more and more to get away from it.
Please keep in mind these are human beings. More fragile of ego than even we (without the booze). More deserving of kindness than perhaps many of the people we will ever meet. And if we arent capable or they are not deserving of our kindness.... walk away... just walk away.
Cruel words do nothing but perpetuate a cycle of abuse. Both our abuse of the alcoholic and their abuse of both us and a substance that alters mental physical and emotional ability.
This year I am thankful.. thankful that when given a choice of engaging in a series of arguements with my A whom I love dearly... I walked away... and in walking away... he was open to the miracle only God could bring to his life. I thank God I had enough program that I didnt engage.. I didnt unleash all the anger and hurt I had... I walked away without saying a word. And in that.. I truly discovered I didnt want to be that cruel person. I didnt want to be that hateful person. Kicking an Alcoholic when they are down is equal in my eyes to hitting a small child or a puppy. They are people... please in the spirit of the holiday... remember to treat your loved ones with kindness... for in that.. is the true spirit of Goodness.
quietsins
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
please in the spirit of the holiday... remember to treat your loved ones with kindness... for in that.. is the true spirit of Goodness.
How Important Is It?
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cyberia
Posts: 612
Originally Posted by quietsins
Please keep in mind these are human beings. More fragile of ego than even we (without the booze). More deserving of kindness than perhaps many of the people we will ever meet. And if we arent capable or they are not deserving of our kindness.... walk away... just walk away.
Cruel words do nothing but perpetuate a cycle of abuse.
Cruel words do nothing but perpetuate a cycle of abuse.
One of the blessings of recovery is that we get to this point of loving detachment even when the alcoholic is still drinking. I have an Al-anon friend who calls this: "living in the sunshine of the spirit".
This open heart and loving attitude happens for us after we have begun to seriously work our recovery program. I can understand being filled with toxic anger. I've been there and done that. Living with an alcoholic will do that to anyone. However, we have tools and we have a program to help us get past that anger.
Robin
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