maggie1958

This has been a hard week for me...seems everything has come down on me at once. I got a email from my daughter...not a very nice one...this has been a strained relationship to say the least...we have not talked for 10 years and about 6 months ago she emailed me saying she wanted to work things out...anyway...I have tried...she is married now and has a daughter...so I have a granddaughter...but I have never seen. I had hoped maybe she would come in for Christmas or invite me there sometime over the holidays but she made that clear it wasn't going to happen. Next...a guy I had dated a few years ago...he was married...I know stupid!!!!...any way we have stayed friends but that is it...told me he had an affair shortly after we cooled things (his wife never really found out but became very jealous of our friendship so we ended things) he said he fell in love with this women...so now I feel like I was really a fool....he always made me think we were something special to him...I know I should know better....anyway that has hurt....and a program I have just got my special needs son on seems to be going to get cut....a guy I had been talking to has disappeared without giving me a reason..he knows nothing of the above by the way...so it wasn't that....and the guy that has brought me to this place...my ABF or ex I should say....has disappeared and I don't know where he is....the last time I talked to him was about a week ago...I hadn't been taking his calls....he had started drinking again and has become emotionally and showing tendenices of physcial abuse...I set my bounderies that I would not see him if he was drinking...period...he can't drive because of a DWI so it was up to me to go see him.....the last time he talked I think he was drinking...called in the middle of the night...I answered before I thought....he had called my mom earlier that evening wanting her to tell me to talk to him! I was furious when I found out he had called her and told her stuff....I don't do that...she knew we were not seeing each other...but never told her why....anyway...he tried calling and I would not answer...just left him a IM that I was angry with him...he has not been on computer since Sat. and is not at work...out on sick leave....I do not want to call him house...but I know he is not there...he can't stay off the computer that long...and he never misses work! I was some desperate today I called the hospitals in his area to see if he was there...no...I don't know any of his friends or family really...I talked to one of his friends he works with and he said he was fine...and she didn't act like she knew who I was when I told her...I don't know if it was a put on or if she really didn't....maybe this is a big game with him....he tellls me has been sick for 2 months because I won't talk to him....he calls me crying....is he just playing games with me? I don't know...I just want to know he is ok....I don't want him back...I just don't want him hurt...what do I do? any suggestions? just had to vent to someone...this is the only place I can talk about this....and then I come here and see all the turmoil going on here and wonder if I can even come here....come on people this can be a good place...don't let your squabbles ruin this...some of us need this place...we have no where else to turn....don't ruin this for the ones of us that needs it...PLEASE!

Kathy Z

Sounds like you really have a lot going on in your life right now. The first thing that came to my mind while reading your share was the slogan *Take it Easy* If you allow all things things to they will overwhelm you. Try the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (just about everything you mentioned in your post)

The courage to change the things I can (your reactions to the situations above)

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Glad you shared.

maggie1958

Thanks Kathy...I'm trying...just really struggling right now...I have said so many prayers this week....I'm trying to leave things in God's hands...and know I have to...it's just so hard!

mylifenow

i'm new and trying to figure this site out, can see you have good support, and i do hope no problems continue...peace...must finish for 2night.

maggie1958

Thank you mylifenow....and welcome...yes this is a good place...I don't know what brought you here but hope this place can help you....we all need support here it seems....love and prayers to you