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-   -   And the B.S. begins. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/79341-b-s-begins.html)

brdlvr2 12-08-2005 09:02 AM

And the B.S. begins.
 
My xbf just called. Different day, same story. He follows a pattern anytime I tell him I'm done. Doesn't call for a day to make me wonder what he's up to. He tells me yes he's drinking, but only a nip or two, a beer here or there to calm down, can stop now before it goes overboard, that he still loves me, can't stop thinking of me. Wants me to stick by him, that he is going back to the Salvation Army on the 19th, but wants to know if I'll be good ( don't date anybody), that now he's doing great money wise, that if he doesn't go back to the program, he has a chance to do really well job/money wise. That he will go back to the program to do the right thing, but it's for him, but really for us.

Quack, quack, quack.

I held strong. Told him it's too late for us, that whether he goes or not, it's up to him and for once, I'm not going back this time. He still denies taking the money, but said he'll give me some if I need it - that he will do whatever it takes to get me back. No, No, No. I'm breaking this pattern once and for all, no matter how hard it is.

Just venting.

Minx1969 12-08-2005 09:14 AM

Vent away!

It's hard to be strong (that I know) but in the end it is so worth it! I was on again off again so many times in 2 years..

For me..Alanon and my sponsor helped to keep me strong..but hey that was also before I found SR..

Keep moving forward..We are here to support you through the upcoming months..

Gabe 12-08-2005 04:25 PM

Sounds like a lot of games brd.
Glad you're not playing.
You keep right on listening to your best self and you'll be fine.

Soul Catcher 12-08-2005 04:56 PM

Your better then me because I would say "ok, give me X amount (the amount he stole) and THEN not talk to him again. I'd get mine.

brdlvr2 12-09-2005 05:41 AM

Believe me, I thought of doing just that. But I know me. Wrong and unhealthy as it is, I'd be feeling bad if by the very, very off chance I did lose the money. It's easier for me to write it off as a loss (that and all the money I"ve spent on him over the last 3 years) and learning experience and just move on. He called me last night from the bar. Tried to tell me he is having problems and needed somebody to talk to. I told him to talk to the bartender. I didnt' want him dumping his issues on me and trying to make me upset. So I'm learning...

pmaslan 12-09-2005 07:48 AM

John used to do that to me when we broke up....
He moved 800 miles away and now I have peace.
Not as convienent as I used to be....lol
Keep strong...you know nothing changes if nothing changes...

CatsTail 12-10-2005 06:07 AM

The nice thing to know is we don't have to keep playing the game.

Ngaire


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