How does everyone else cope?
 

Ive said in other posts that my best friend is dealing with being an alcoholic, but like everyone else he messed up occationally... i was just wondering what other people do to cope when their husband/wife/friend etc screw up and get drunk and say they are going to give up.. because at the moment i dont appear to do anything other than get really upset and spend my time trying to stop him, which is really detrimental because im doing a degree and i dont have time to spare.

I just feel so so angry at him when he doesnt even seem to even want to try sometimes.. he says how much he cares about me but i never see it, all i see is him using me to stay sober and then taking it out on me and upsetting me. i know that that sounds selfish because he is dealing with a lot at the moment but it feels like i spend my life trying to help him and support him and he throws it back in my face.

he makes me want to scream and cry and shout at him... infact it makes me want to hurt him, which i hate myself for, but i want him to know how he makes me feel.... *sighs*

i was just wondering if there was a way to deal with these things, or how other people cope.

Oh Flower, many of us have been in that place.
It's what Codies do.
Nothing wrong with loving and supporting someone.
But we can't expect some kind of reward for that.
And our love and support is no magic cure for alcoholism.
The only thing that will ever get them sober is their desire for sobriety.
And that does not come from us.
We hear them "say" a lot of things.
It's what they "do" that we need to pay attention to.
I understand the anger, believe me, I do.
It's maddening and frustrating to watch someone you love self destruct.
But we can't help them, they have to help themselves.
This is why it's important to put the focus on you and how this is affecting your life.
That is the part that you can do something about.

Amen.....