I feel horrible please read

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12-06-2005, 08:32 PM

# 1 (permalink)

markie

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Join Date: Dec 2005

Location: nowhere

Posts: 1

I feel horrible please read

My dad died last year and I am feeling so weird about it. He died because he drank too much and crashed his car. No one was hurt except for him obviously.

I couldn't help him. He drank and gambled and snuck around and lied and drove drunk and did all these self-destructive things. It just happened after he got fired and got depressed. He turned to substances to ease his pain.

I am a mess right now so sorry for the lack of coherancy of my sentences.

What makes a person turn into a monster? to lie, steal, sneak drinks, and turn their family upside down. He wasn't what he was before. Will he go to hell because of what alcohol did it him? Does alcohol change your personality?

It's so hard to grieve this loss when all I have are bad memories. I hate alcohol so much.

Mark

12-06-2005, 08:45 PM

# 2 (permalink)

In memory of miracle

In Memory Of

Join Date: Jan 2004

Location: Connecticut.

Posts: 3,736

Welcome Markie, I am so very sorry about your Dad. Alcoholism in its active form is a terrible disease. When I was drinking, I did all those things your Dad did, yes alcohol changes our personality when we ingest it. That doesnt mean we dont love our families and children, we do. I bet your Father was probably a great guy when he was not drinking. I wish you peace and healing, and that your good memories of your father will come back in time.
Bless, Trish

12-06-2005, 08:49 PM

# 3 (permalink)

TomsGirl

Getting busy living!

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: Worcester MA

Posts: 199

Oh Markie, I am so sorry. No, I don't believe he will go to hell. The disease was the monster, not your father. I believe he's in a better place now and as he was before the disease got him. Talk to him, I think he'll hear you. I know when times have been the blackest and scariest for me or for someone I love I've called upon my Dad for comfort.

Welcome to SR. Please come back. There are many wonderful people here to help and to offer support. You are most definately not alone.

Take Care, Janet

12-07-2005, 01:14 AM

# 4 (permalink)

reader

Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!

Join Date: Jun 2005

Location: crownpoint newyork

Posts: 820

Welcome Markie, I am very sorry for your loss. I to lost my father at 16 because of alcohol. Alcohol can make people do some horrible things. My heart goes out to you now. I hope in time you can grieve and try to forgive your Dad. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. With love,

12-07-2005, 03:28 AM

# 5 (permalink)

flower

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Join Date: Dec 2005

Location: England

Posts: 6

Alcohol is a disease and it changes people, it can turn the sweetest person into an abusive monster, it doesnt mean that underneath the sweet person wasnt there.