flower

My close friend is currently trying to stop drinking and it feels like he uses me as an emotional punch bag but i cant tell him how i feel because if i do i know it would upset him and he'd just go out and get drunk.

I was wondering if other people felt the same...it just doesnt feel fair that whenever he gets drunk its me that has to pick up the pieces for him, im beginning to feel like his mother. he has a whole lot of other issues which means he is quite dependent on me at the moment and i feel truely exhausted.

Soul Catcher

That's what they do. You have to detach from him. It's not that you don't care but you have to take care of you. It only gets worse. They make you feel like your the one crazy and everything is your fault and then your their only friend but yet your the enemy. Everything will be better because your in their life...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....If you leave it the way it is you will end it badly. He needs to get himself together. You need to take care of yourself. He will exhaust you. Good luck.

flower

He is trying, he goes to counselling now and he wants to stop drinking but he messes up occationally. things have begun to change he used to blame me for everything saying that he did it because he loved me (i doubt very much he could truely feel anything) and thats gone now. but i know that if i disappeared he'd stop going to counselling, he really has noone else that can help him and he was brought up with the idea that drinking is ok (as his father is an alcholic) which is a hard habit to change.

meli2005

Hey Flower,


Sobriety is his responsibility. LIfe can be very upsetting and unfair, but it does not give any of us permission to get totally drunk and just lose it, etc. YOu can offer support, but take care of yourself.

meli2005

I think the counseling is a good thing, I hope he continues. It can take a long tim to change opinions and for A's to finally accept their problem. It's a disease of denial.

nocellphone

And.......? If he's an alcoholic, he'll find another reason to drink. At least if you're honest about your feelings, you'll feel better--whether he drinks or not.

Alcoholics don't drink 'cos people "make" them. That's just a convenient excuse. Alcoholics drink because... well, because they're alcoholic.

Babies cry. Dogs bark. Alcoholics and addicts drink and use, unless they find sobriety. Simple as that.

brdlvr2

True!!