For the first time....
 

my husband went to bed tonight and told me that he could not wait to wake up in the morning and go to work.

He totally loves his new job. The money is FAR better than they even promised him when he took the job and it is small office so he has charmed all the people already and they love him.

Never have I heard James say that he can't wait until tomorrow. He has the dreaded "I am bored" gene and gets bogged down in the having nothing to amuse him. This new job engages his mind at every turn.

We talked a great deal about his alcoholism this weekend and what his plans were to be able to keep this job while not taking the necessary steps to address his addiction. He is rather fuzzy on the details and very clear on his desire to have a happy family life and a successful business career. We so both want the same things for our family.

I am stuck in the statistics. He won't quit drinking without support. He won't get support. Therefore he is doomed.

I suppose that I need to remember that one day at a time living also goes for the good times as well.

Jenny

We are worry twins !!
 

Jenny,
I am just sitting here thinking the same things. My AH starts his new job tomorrow. He too has not made a decision about treatment again. He was out of work for a year, so he knows he can't blow this opportunity, but he has yet to get clear on the "details" of how he plans to keep a job and still drink heavily. I had a good Al-anon meeting last night and left feeling sort of at peace, but today reared it's head and I have worried most of the day. We got his clothes picked out, coffee pot is ready to go, car is clean and gassed and he went to bed drunk.......I am praying a lot and trying to just be present with myself, but it is hard. I hope he does well, I know he will, but if he were sober....there would be no stopping him !!! Well, we know I can't control it, so.....I am just being cautiously hopeful. Good luck to you and yours. I hope he does well and you have peace.

Jenny, try to find the statistics, have a look on the net, wherever but try to find the source. Ask whoever told you them for a reference (informally - where did you find that information?), see if you can find even one - I couldn't! I also struggled with this because our support faded when our counsellor moved house! I have searched and searched and searched - I even asked for help on the alcoholism forum to find the one stat quoted to me (without a reference I might add), that 95% of alcoholics die if left untreated. One member on that forum suggested the stat came from the APA but even using their site as a source I couldn't find it - I asked again for help, apparently no-one found it, or did but just didn't post.

It's very possible like an urban myth it is believed and repeated so much that it's taken as fact. My question would be WHY is such an important stat not available anywhere reputable? It isn't on the NIAAA (Nat. Inst. for Alc Abuse and Addiction) despite them holding numerous journal articles, it wasn't on American Pcysh Ass (APA), it isn't on the UK Alc Concern site.

However I did find this in January:
2001-2002 Survey Finds that Many Recover from Alcoholism: Researchers Identify Factors Associated with Abstinent and Non-Abstinent Recovery

I'm the first to admit I could have missed something but before you go through feeling your husband is doomed see if you can find it, ask others to help - those that tell you it's fact.

Ahe Jenny, ya just never know how things will turn out.For myself,statisticly i should be dead,this is the truth.5 Doctors,specialists, gave me the statistics on my health,and told me i had a year to live.Its only through God,s grace that im alive,years later and typing to you today.Im very grateful to God.So what ive learned,by all of this is that statistics,what are they really?They are talking about other people,not me,as an indivual,and this doesnt mean that i will follow suit.Statistics,change,all the times,as the years go by.Im an AA member as well as an Al-anon member.And i believe in these recovery programs,that they do work when i work them.And this has been true in my life also.I dont know what the statistics say about being sober,or how to be sober,its never been my or my hubs concern.Some folks live by statistics,and thats ok,we personally dont,bother with this.To each their own.Who really knows the furture and how things will happen in their lives?I dont.I do know that God will work His miralce in His time,and in His way.This has been proven in both my hubs and my life.And others too...Let go,let God.
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,and take care,
Prayers for you and hub,living One Day at a Time...

I think about statistics a lot too. A lot of the alcoholism statistics and figures I have found seem to be contradictory or wildly conflicting. There are a lot of facts and figures floating around (Equuus - I agree with your comments)

Cap - that's a good point. We just can't let numbers affect how we live our life.

The over-riding impression I have arrived at, is that no matter what statistics or figures you are looking at, the story is not particularly positive. Alcoholism is a serious, progressive, and life-threatening disease, with a high tendency to relapse.

This is why it is so very important for the family members and loved ones of alcoholics to have their own program of recovery. Al-anon gives us slogans to help us. "One day at a time" is one of my favorites. It helps me to stop worrying about what might happen in the future and just focus on today.

God bless

Robin