Please Help Me Get Through This 24 Hours!!
 

One year ago my husband went to his plant Christmas party, drank enough alcohol to black out and probably enough to kill him, thank God he lived through it. He came home got his guns out, threatened me, the people he had left in the bar, my son, etc. He chased me out of the house, came out after me with the gun, shot it, then calmly put the gun away, went to bed and passed out. It was the worst, and last drunk we had. After his ultimate arrest he went to treatment and will be sober one year on Monday. :)

So, today will be a long stressful day for me. Tonight is the plant Christmas party. I will come home to an empty house knowing he is there and it will be like a replay of one year ago. I know in my heart he will be ok, he has a support system of his "fellows" that will be with him at the party. I just have that "old" feeling this morning and just have to get it out and couldn't think of a better place to do it than right here.

I have plans to keep busy, but I know the minutes will tick by slowly as I wait to hear him come through the door. I will be ok, he will be ok, I know that. It is just the old feelings, the same ones I had last year because I knew what kind of a night it would be. I know tonight will not be like that, but it is strange how the old feelings can creep up on us.

This morning when I got up there was a note on my computer from hubby, it said "don't worry about tonight, I love you. You just have a good day!" He knows I am worried, we talked about it, he is worried too.

I guess I just would like some extra prayers sent out for us today by my friends here at SR because one can never have too many prayers now can they.

Thanks for listening!

I wish I could really offer you help. Did you ask him not to go? I would have done, but then I know D would want me to say if it was going to hurt me.

Take care and I hope the time passes as quick as it can.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers today. I truely hope your worst nightmare does not come through again. I wish you peace today.

You two have come a long way in the past few months and the action above shows that. Seems like this is a bit of a recovery test for both of you. I am sending prayers your way and that you have a happy end to the evening. We'll be thinking of you tonight!

We're here for you harley...prayers heading out.

He has to go, it is during work hours. I would never ask him not to go. We discussed it and he knows I am worried, he shared with me how he feels and he feels about the same as I do.

He will be ok, I feel it. It is just the OLD feelings that sweep over us.

Really don't need advice today, he is going and I am ok with that. I just need your prayers for us today more than normal, that's all. He and his AA co-workers will watch out for each other, stick together and be alright! They are a wonderful group.

I just figured I would ask for prayers because we all know the power of prayer and today I need that for MY peace of mind.

Sorry HG. I was curious - especially with the caring note. I didn't think of it being in work hours. Please just ignore me it was never meant as a challenge.

Take care.

Hey Harleygirl... sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way. I know how hard it can be to deal with the "ghosts of Christmas' past." (or any other past annual celebration for that matter!)

You're doing great, and like Cwohio said, you've really come along way!

Harleygirl you and yor husband are in myn thoughts and prayers. Keep breathing!!!


J

Prayers and good vibes coming your way!

I will pray for your peace of mind. I will pray for all those stomach knots to just go away and for bright sunlight tomorrow for both of you.

omg...
that made me tear....

Harley...
relax... and feel good in the love he is obviously working so hard to display...

Saying a prayer for general peace for you.. and him.

The trauma of that situation a year ago is being triggered for you today.

I find that beathing deeply helps to calm my panic in situations like this.
I also find that keeping busy is very helpful - it keeps my mind occupied on other things. Reaching out to others is also comforting.

God bless you and your husband.

Robin

My prayers and thoughts are with you both.Suggestion,if i may.heres somethings that hard to do,but not impossible.try,my dear not to project,what will or will not happen.Last year is last year.Today is a new day.Serenity prayer sure helps.Whenever your mind goes back,or to him,please say this prayer.This works for me..God Bless and take care!!!!

Don't ya just wish you could erase memories from the mind sometimes....
It would make life so much easier....
My thoughts are with you, I understand what you are feeling...

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. It sounds like he's really trying so I'm sure it'll be okay. Try to enjoy you're night off. :)

Harleygirl, thoughts and prayers out to you. It was very sweet of hubby to write you a note to reassure you. Keep in mind that he loves you. Maybe you can try to keep busy around the house to keep your mind busy. Try not to focus on it! With love,

Prayers it is for you today!

Hi HG, I hope that you are keeping a handle on those memories and niggling thoughts.
Believe me I know that is not easy; you'll have these thoughts despite not wanting to have them.
My P was in the same situation 2 days ago, company Xmas lunch during work hours. As he's working away I found it difficult to keep a handle on my feelings despite having confidence that he would cope. Know that my thoughts and hopes are with you now.
My P came through fine:) he called me when he got back to work " Hi Darling, I'm back at work and I did great! love you"

Well, we had lunch together and he is in good spirits and has a good attitude. I am confident it will be a good night. He brought home his Christmas bonus and gave it to me and told me to use if for Christmas gifts...... wow I was shocked.
All seemed well, BUT that feeling, that dark feeling deep in my gut just doesn't go away. I have accepted it is just going to be there until he walks through the door tonigh and let it go at that.
I am doing much better than I thought I would, I am proud of me, right now, it isn't 5 and I am not home alone YET!
He did make plans to go do some shopping with me this evening when he gets home so I know his intentions are very good.
Thank you all for your prayers it has kept me going today.