Interesting Articles about "Codependancy"
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Join Date: Oct 2005
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Interesting Articles about "Codependancy"
http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/p...gs/27/dear.pdf
http://www.habitsmart.com/cdpnt.htm
This are critiques against codependancy - they may provide more a balanced view of the codependancy model.
http://www.habitsmart.com/cdpnt.htm
This are critiques against codependancy - they may provide more a balanced view of the codependancy model.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Perhaps this would have been better in 'What is Recovery?'
I have no reason to think I, or my relationship is less than healthy - on the contrary I have many reasons to believe it's very healthy. It has proven durable through hefty knocks, consistant in mutual affection, and has continued to develop over time - all good from where I stand. As for my health, I've had counselling and needed it because an extra voice helped me get and keep a clear head, however right from the start my counsellor felt my situation was difficult rather than my reaction to it unhealthy.
The situation was and still is difficult but not as much, I needed a bit extra to keep head over water! My doc's put me on AD's as a precaution (oh BOY was I uncomfortable with that but I understood why). I asked 3 different docs whether it really was as a precaution, asked all 3 to tell me if they felt I was out of whack - all said the same, same as the counsellor! As I don't think they conspired to trick me, as primarily my concerns for my health had been from here (and I think checking was good, so no complaints), I concluded that not only do I think I'm healthy I almost have a certificate to prove it!!
BUT - HUGE WHOPPING MASSIVE BUT. That is MY truth, and I think we should have the freedom to find our own answers. Because I believe healthy people go through tough stuff that hurts doesn't mean I can tell someone else there's nothing wrong with them - who am I to know? It doesn't mean THEIR experience is one ounce less valid than mine.
I try to give out what I want to get back, I want the respect offered to me that I know my life better than anyone so I try to return the same. I'm not sure these articles while placed in this forum reflect that.
I have no reason to think I, or my relationship is less than healthy - on the contrary I have many reasons to believe it's very healthy. It has proven durable through hefty knocks, consistant in mutual affection, and has continued to develop over time - all good from where I stand. As for my health, I've had counselling and needed it because an extra voice helped me get and keep a clear head, however right from the start my counsellor felt my situation was difficult rather than my reaction to it unhealthy.
The situation was and still is difficult but not as much, I needed a bit extra to keep head over water! My doc's put me on AD's as a precaution (oh BOY was I uncomfortable with that but I understood why). I asked 3 different docs whether it really was as a precaution, asked all 3 to tell me if they felt I was out of whack - all said the same, same as the counsellor! As I don't think they conspired to trick me, as primarily my concerns for my health had been from here (and I think checking was good, so no complaints), I concluded that not only do I think I'm healthy I almost have a certificate to prove it!!
BUT - HUGE WHOPPING MASSIVE BUT. That is MY truth, and I think we should have the freedom to find our own answers. Because I believe healthy people go through tough stuff that hurts doesn't mean I can tell someone else there's nothing wrong with them - who am I to know? It doesn't mean THEIR experience is one ounce less valid than mine.
I try to give out what I want to get back, I want the respect offered to me that I know my life better than anyone so I try to return the same. I'm not sure these articles while placed in this forum reflect that.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
In a different place I would be more willing to offer what I feel.
All I'm happy to say here is that alternatives tailored to loved ones dealing with addiction are really needed because choice is a good thing and I could use them for a start!! Counselling is good - with the right counsellor bt that can be hard to find.
As for us girlies getting a rough deal - yep, nowt new there! But then that's why we get all the real toughie talents! And scotsmen dress like us to look 'ard.
Feminism drives me screwy half the time - most blokes were brought up as much by their mother's as their fathers if not more so, which makes us far from a poor wee defensless sex! I think men and women are more alike than different - sure there are differences but they're hugely outweighed by similarity. That opinion drives sexist men and feminists potty all at once!
I think women do as much to maintain the status quo as men - maybe 'cos we waited till there was less chance of being sent to be shot! It'll take generations to undo our sex stereotyping habits and I'm happy just getting along with lads and lasses alike as my part in that. I so can't fix the whole flippin' planet!
All I'm happy to say here is that alternatives tailored to loved ones dealing with addiction are really needed because choice is a good thing and I could use them for a start!! Counselling is good - with the right counsellor bt that can be hard to find.
As for us girlies getting a rough deal - yep, nowt new there! But then that's why we get all the real toughie talents! And scotsmen dress like us to look 'ard.
Feminism drives me screwy half the time - most blokes were brought up as much by their mother's as their fathers if not more so, which makes us far from a poor wee defensless sex! I think men and women are more alike than different - sure there are differences but they're hugely outweighed by similarity. That opinion drives sexist men and feminists potty all at once!
I think women do as much to maintain the status quo as men - maybe 'cos we waited till there was less chance of being sent to be shot! It'll take generations to undo our sex stereotyping habits and I'm happy just getting along with lads and lasses alike as my part in that. I so can't fix the whole flippin' planet!
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
So much to say, so little time to say it today.
In a nutshell, reading co-dependency literature did not make me feel like a victim. In fact, it did the exact opposite. However, such information is simply one part of a whole range of information and insight that I use on my journey.
I'll be back....
In a nutshell, reading co-dependency literature did not make me feel like a victim. In fact, it did the exact opposite. However, such information is simply one part of a whole range of information and insight that I use on my journey.
I'll be back....
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
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