looking for help
 

This is all new to me, I am trying to understand and accept my fiances addiction. He is now 3 days sober and is asking me to stay with him and join him in meetings which I have done. I want to save our relationship together but fear the worst, I just wonder do people really beat this????

Thanks

Yes...Trisha, people do get clean and sober and stay that way, a day at a time. I am an addict in recovery, myself. The important thing is for you to take care of yourself. There are meetings for families, alanon and naranon, both great. You have found a great place for help and support and I am sure others will be along to welcome you.
( Great name, by the way! )
Bless, Trish

Hi and Welcome! :slomo:

Here are 2 books full of info.
He should be reading them too.

"Under The Influence" and it's sequal "Beyond The Influence"
are carried by Amazon. :approve:

I quit drinking with AA and the facts in "Under".

Hugs..

Welcome... You have found a great site.
Good advise above. Your library should have the books mentioned, if not they can barrow for you. I had to buy my own, so I could highlight and underline.

Keep coming back, HUGS

Welcome Trisha, I glad you have found us! Knowledge is power, like above read and go to meetings. When in doubt always ask the questions. Like I tell my kids the only dumb guestion is one that isn't asked. I think it is great that you are going to meetings together, support is a key factor in soberity. Shame and quilt over take those that struggle. Putting light on this will take away the mystery! Looking forward to getting to know you! Kerry

Thanks to everyone, this offers me hope for the future, one day at a time of course ;)

It is all up to the individual. It sounds as if your fiance really wants to get better, that is positive. Take care of you as well and support him as needed, but ultimately it is all up to him.

Trisha it is possible. As my (recovering-alcoholic) boyfriend's sister told me (does that make sense? my boyfriend's sister) you are his biggest reason for him to stay sober. This DOES NOT mean that it is your responsioblity to keep him sober but it does mean that you can be helpful to him. I see it as my responsiblity to support my boyfriend M. It sounds like you are doing a great great job of supporting your fiance. Keep up the good work, have faith in him. I believe (and I have to believe this in order to be with M) that recovering alcholics can suceed and triumph over their addiction.

[/FONT][COLOR=Blue]Hey there Trisha... I myself am new to this "disease" and have been (really) attending Alanon meetings for just over 6-mos. It has not been easy. I hope yours is alot smoother. We have decided to take a "break" from our friendship for now and it hurts everyday cause I see her EVERYDAY. But like her, I too have my own program and steps to worry about. So I hope you keep that in mind. Maybe I'll run into you in an Alanon meeting here in Vancouver?

[QUOTE]I care about an alcoholic more than I can say. I wish her health, happiness and sobriety, but I cannot hand these to her. She and her "Higher-Power" are in charge of that. I can only love her and when I stop to think about it, that is enough...

[I]COURAGE TO CHANGE/JAN-8

You are truly lucky Trisha and roo! you have an opportunity to attend some really great meeting there.

In al-anon you can find some new tools to use to live with an alcoholic or without an alcoholic in your life.

I am truly blessed to have found my anwsers in working the al-anon program, going to meeting, and having a wonderful sponsor to work the steps with. I wish the same for both of you.