help what do i do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: kansas city
Posts: 1
help what do i do
i'm in a situation where i have only been married 3 months and my husband is a alcohlic who promised me he would seek help and is not. we have 4 children and he promised if we got married, we've been together for 5 years, that he would change for me and the kids, now he's worse than ever, how do i know when to let go.l..know i may sound stupid, i have no support and had no where to turn without being judged. 
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
amr..Welcome to SR. Glad you found this site, it is the greatest place for help, support and understanding. We have all been there, done that with addicts, although each situation is different.
If your read lots of the posts you will find that the A's promise and promise and then stay in their problem and some get worse.
This site and Al-Anon will help you cope while you deceide what you need for you.
Just shareing on here, venting or asking, whatever will make you feel better.
Keep coming back. Have you tried Al-Anon??
Remember, take what you can use and leave the rest.
If your read lots of the posts you will find that the A's promise and promise and then stay in their problem and some get worse.
This site and Al-Anon will help you cope while you deceide what you need for you.
Just shareing on here, venting or asking, whatever will make you feel better.
Keep coming back. Have you tried Al-Anon??
Remember, take what you can use and leave the rest.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Welcome to SoberRecovery AMR. I'm sure your husband meant that promise when he made it, it's just impossible for him to keep it at this time. Will he ever get sober? That depends entirely on him. Nothing you can do or say will convince him to get help until he decides to do that himself. When will that be? Your guess is as good as mine.
Until then you can make some changes to make your life easier. And those changes have to come from within you. A good place to start is by reading the power posts at the top of this forum. Then grab a good cup of coffee and start reading the posts. From them you will learn what's worked for other folks and what hasn't.
Then get yourself copies of Melody Beatty's books "Codependent No More" and "The Language of Letting Go." They will help you understand the part you play in your husband's drinking and how you can stop enabling him so he'll reach his bottom sooner and finally seek the help he so desperately needs.
Also, I found it helpful to visit the Alcoholics forum here too. It helped me to understand just how difficult it is for an alcoholic to stop drinking and how difficult it is for them to maintain their sobriety.
And one last thing. Keep coming back. Keep posting your feelings, your hopes, your dreams, your fears. Anything at all. It's like keeping an online journal. It will help you see how you've progressed over time.
Here's a hug for you.
((AMR))
Until then you can make some changes to make your life easier. And those changes have to come from within you. A good place to start is by reading the power posts at the top of this forum. Then grab a good cup of coffee and start reading the posts. From them you will learn what's worked for other folks and what hasn't.
Then get yourself copies of Melody Beatty's books "Codependent No More" and "The Language of Letting Go." They will help you understand the part you play in your husband's drinking and how you can stop enabling him so he'll reach his bottom sooner and finally seek the help he so desperately needs.
Also, I found it helpful to visit the Alcoholics forum here too. It helped me to understand just how difficult it is for an alcoholic to stop drinking and how difficult it is for them to maintain their sobriety.
And one last thing. Keep coming back. Keep posting your feelings, your hopes, your dreams, your fears. Anything at all. It's like keeping an online journal. It will help you see how you've progressed over time.
Here's a hug for you.
((AMR))
How Important Is It?
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cyberia
Posts: 612
AMR - You are going through a very painful time right now.
I found a great deal of help and support by attending Al-anon meetings. I know it might be difficult for you to get away in the evening for a meeting, because you have small children, but you will find tremendous help, support and understanding by attending Al-anon. There are people there who know what you are going through.
Also, keep coming back here.
Robin
I found a great deal of help and support by attending Al-anon meetings. I know it might be difficult for you to get away in the evening for a meeting, because you have small children, but you will find tremendous help, support and understanding by attending Al-anon. There are people there who know what you are going through.
Also, keep coming back here.
Robin
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