pmaslan

This year will be so very different from last.

Last year at 9AM my ex John and I were in the local
watering hole drinking bloody mary's with a couple of
people we knew...yeah I know 9AM what the heck was
I thinking....
Planned on staying for an hour or two, then home to cook a huge meal.
Well, several hours and bloody mary's later we were still in the bar.
I had to call my daughter and cancel our family dinner.
I spent the next day in huge regret and shame.
John spent the next day back at the bar....

It was December 1st that I began my recovery from
my co-dependency to John and his addiction.
I found my life to be unmanageable at that point.
I thought if I went with him I could control the drinking,
all I accomplished was me drinking right along with him.
That is insanity.
After my recovery began I let him go alone to the bars.
Eventually, I let him leave my life for good.

This year, I have a huge meal planned with my 2 boys and
a couple of close friends.
There will be no bloody mary's at 9AM
and no regrets the day after......
Thank god for recovery.
To all of my family here at SR
A very Happy Thanksgiving.....

gelfling

And a very happy thanksgiving to you too.

Blessings

cwohio

patty - what a difference a year makes huh? may your holiday be filled with much peace and serenity.

last year we were to go have thanksgiving at an uncle and aunt's of my husband. the uncle was terminally ill so everyone was going to go bring thanksgiving to him. my husband proceeded to get smashed (i believe he could not face going to see the uncle in this state) and we ended up not going. this was sort of the beginning of the true downward spiral. this year i have an invitation to go to my niece's house as i won't be cooking on thanksgiving day due to my stepdaughter having to work. i may or may not go depending on if i get my spare bedroom painted (cutting in now - just taking a break). my husband was either drunk or coming off a binge at thanksgiving and christmas last year and didn't participate. this year will be sad but a time for new beginnings for me.

prodigal

I, too, tried to be "included" in my AH's life and found out one thing: I simply cannot physically handle much alcohol. My body rejects it - literally, if you catch my drift! I got my wake-up call.

I'm still with him this Thanksgiving. It should be interesting to see if he can use a knife and fork when we sit down to dinner this year - last year he ate with his hands ....

TexasGirl

I still do drink with mine, and half the time I feel guilty about it. I know that's a form of enabling, right? But when I want to spend time with him, sometimes that's the easiest way to do it. I'm just not as far as you are yet. Hope your bloody mary-less Thanksgiving is wonderful.

Jazzman

A year ago my life was crap. I had started sleeping in my sons bedroom in September (as soon as he left for college) and had my ex served w/ divorce papers Nov. 17th. She was sleeping at her 1st ex husbands house at this time last year. I was a mess and had not found SR. Probably better, I would have come off like a blubbering idiot instead of the funny guy I am now, LOL!! It's good to be back. Yes this year will be MUCH different... ahhh

For anyone in the crap right now, it does get better

equus

My childhood christmas's were arguments, the worst I remember my father blaming me because my mum sat on a chocolate - I got sent to my room and missed dinner.

Adolescence I began to make excuses and do the horses on christmas day.

Early adulthood I worked the morning, drank enough at dinner to sleep through the afternoon.

Proper adulthood, I worked then went for a long, long ride or walk, visited friends and family, flew round like a nutter - usually late from too long riding!!

After D came back to find me - OUR day, still go for a long walk but not alone anymore. No fighting, hugs instead. A pull the sofa bed out day! It's a holiday now, I no longer work on christmas day.

jojo

This may sound really strange but one of my best Thanksgivings, I spent completely alone. My kids were with their dad that day. I told my family that I was having dinner with friends and friends I was having dinner with my family. I made a turkey breast, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes and a pumpkin pie. I ate on a TV tray in front of the TV watching the Lions football game wearing my Lion sweatshirt and socks!!!!!!!! I had a great time. Sometimes it is hard to be with other people. Sometimes you can be your own best company. I wouldn't want it to be that way every year but, that year, it worked for me.

Jo

TomsGirl

Last Thanksgiving was the day I got a clue, or a whiff, that my husband was drinking again and it wasn't beer this time. Just went down, down, and more down from there.

This year I'll be sharing Thanksgiving dinner at the Rehab hospital with my husband, his fellow in-patients, and any of their family/friends that show up.

I'll be thankful that the help is there for my husband and that he appears to be taking it seriously. But most of all I'll be thankful that I finally put MYSELF at the top of the list of things to care about! I'm taking care of taking care of me and I ain't never looking back!

Happy Thanksgiving to all here at SR!!!!!

harleygirl92156

Last Thanksgiving my husband was sober but hung over. It was a good day because he didn't drink that day, but only because he was hung over. Christmas and New Years were spend in rehab and December 5 he will have ONE YEAR sober. We will be spending Thanksgiving with our family happy, healthy and sober. If that isn't something to be thankful for, nothing is.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. We will remember those still suffering in our thanksgiving dinner prayer.

pmaslan

Thank you to everyone for sharing some of their holiday memories......
Harley Girl...thank you for reminding me that eveyone isn't out of the woods yet
for those still in pain, you will most definately be in my Thanksgiving prayers, as you always are. Hugs to all.......

pmaslan

and this Thanksgiving was very different.....
slept a little later, cooked an incredible dinner and desserts
had my 2 boys and 2 close friends over.......
and it was peaceful...
no regrets...
Hope everyone had a great holiday.....

cwohio

sounds nice patty - peace what a wonderful thing.

i did go to my niece's and had a wonderful time (except for driving thru a white-out for about 5 minutes).

pmaslan

Oh My a white out....we had a little snow but nothing much...
now if you want to talk about the wind...that's a whole different story
here in the windy city....could blow you away!!!!!!

cwohio

you'd think i was living in the windy city today - really howling out there but temps are almost 70! not for long tho. we had a power outage this morning for about 5 hours so i took another day off (serious bed head in the morning that can't be fixed by candlelight LOL)

Jazzman

Patty, what did you make for desert?
Christie, can you post a pic of the bed head look?

cwohio

now jazz - only if you have a severe case of constipation will i post a pic!

Gabe

Something like this CW?

Been there...done that.

cwohio

wish i were that cute looking in the morning. more like this....

pmaslan

Gabe...too cute...

Christie that is so funny.....

Oh Jazzman...made carmel pecan cheesecake (better than sex)
and pumpkin pie all from scratch!!!!