Will he ever go away?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 7
Will he ever go away?
What is it with the alcoholic brain? Or is it just my ex in particular?
I "invited" him to leave my house two months ago, changed the lock, put all his belongings outside and had him come to get them- which he did, drunk of course....
He has called me many, many times since then, left messages, etc. All on my cell phone, he never did get my home number. I have not answered any calls or returned any. I had a two week break with no calls at all, so I thought maybe he had gotten the point, but no.
The calls started again last Tuesday- the last ones were on Friday, where he left me a message "Hey, C. Give me a courtesy F-off call or call me back." I have not responded.
I'm doing the right thing by not responding, right? I'm starting to wonder if it's going to come down to my taking legal action to get the harassment to stop. I'm afraid that if I change my cell phone number, he'll just start showing up at the door. I've considered sending a text message after the next call stating, "Leave me alone, stop calling me. It's over. Any further contact from you will be viewed as harassment and I will take appropriate action." If I do that, am I just playing his game by finally responding/reacting?
I "invited" him to leave my house two months ago, changed the lock, put all his belongings outside and had him come to get them- which he did, drunk of course....
He has called me many, many times since then, left messages, etc. All on my cell phone, he never did get my home number. I have not answered any calls or returned any. I had a two week break with no calls at all, so I thought maybe he had gotten the point, but no.
The calls started again last Tuesday- the last ones were on Friday, where he left me a message "Hey, C. Give me a courtesy F-off call or call me back." I have not responded.
I'm doing the right thing by not responding, right? I'm starting to wonder if it's going to come down to my taking legal action to get the harassment to stop. I'm afraid that if I change my cell phone number, he'll just start showing up at the door. I've considered sending a text message after the next call stating, "Leave me alone, stop calling me. It's over. Any further contact from you will be viewed as harassment and I will take appropriate action." If I do that, am I just playing his game by finally responding/reacting?
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Any reply might be seen as an open door.
If you have no intention of getting back together, don't reply at all.
It isn't just him, it happens to be a pattern that many of us have followed.
Part of the denial. If things progress after you change you cell phone number, that would be a time to take out harassment charges.
If you have no intention of getting back together, don't reply at all.
It isn't just him, it happens to be a pattern that many of us have followed.
Part of the denial. If things progress after you change you cell phone number, that would be a time to take out harassment charges.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
I have had this problem and I know that responding only encourages them. I ended up getting another cellphone, so that I could switch my old one off (I still needed it for work.)
Don't let him see that you're rattled or irritated. Take action if he takes it further. He'll get bored eventually.
Don't let him see that you're rattled or irritated. Take action if he takes it further. He'll get bored eventually.
Thanks- That's what I thought, but sometimes we all need some reinforcement.
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