Visit to AH in Rehab Today
Getting busy living!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Worcester MA
Posts: 199
Visit to AH in Rehab Today
My husband left the hospital Thursday after recovering from his suicide attempt and a horrible withdrawal and was admitted into a local substance abuse rehab hospital for a 30-day rehab. He's there voluntarily, he can check himself out at any time but he knows if he does he can just keep on walking. There will no longer be a place for him with me.
Anyway, on Saturday's they have Family and Friends time. The first hour is a meeting of all those visiting with one of the councelors. It's an education session. As much as I thought I knew about addiction I did learn some new things. Then the councelor went around to all the visitors and asked who they were here for (husband, wife, father, etc) and what they hoped for in regards to their loved one's treatment. A lot of the same things were said but I was struck by how many emotions were displayed in how those same words were said. I heard hope, desperation, despair, anger, determination, and ambivalence.
The patients in rehab then joined us and once again I saw the different emotions displayed in how the patients were greeted by their visitors and how they interacted. My husband was the last one to enter the room. He had a smile on his face upon seeing me and I know I had a big smile on mine. As he approached me both of us opened our arms to each other and when we came together we hugged, long and hard. Other's were greated in a similar fashion but others were greeted much differently. Of course each situation has its own history and I have no knowledge of what that history is. But it made me be more aware of my behavior. My husband has lied to me over and over again but he has never blamed me, belittled me, threatened me or anything. Although I will say the addict in him has looked at me with such hate when I have stood between him and his booze.
I just wanted to express what I experienced today with those who would understand. Sorry for the ramble but this is the first time my husband has seemed to take any sort of recovery seriously. I'm cautiously hopeful but very aware that it can all fall apart at any time. Took a long time to get this deep into the darkness and I know it will take a long time and a lot of hard work and determination by him to get back to the light again.
Anyway, on Saturday's they have Family and Friends time. The first hour is a meeting of all those visiting with one of the councelors. It's an education session. As much as I thought I knew about addiction I did learn some new things. Then the councelor went around to all the visitors and asked who they were here for (husband, wife, father, etc) and what they hoped for in regards to their loved one's treatment. A lot of the same things were said but I was struck by how many emotions were displayed in how those same words were said. I heard hope, desperation, despair, anger, determination, and ambivalence.
The patients in rehab then joined us and once again I saw the different emotions displayed in how the patients were greeted by their visitors and how they interacted. My husband was the last one to enter the room. He had a smile on his face upon seeing me and I know I had a big smile on mine. As he approached me both of us opened our arms to each other and when we came together we hugged, long and hard. Other's were greated in a similar fashion but others were greeted much differently. Of course each situation has its own history and I have no knowledge of what that history is. But it made me be more aware of my behavior. My husband has lied to me over and over again but he has never blamed me, belittled me, threatened me or anything. Although I will say the addict in him has looked at me with such hate when I have stood between him and his booze.
I just wanted to express what I experienced today with those who would understand. Sorry for the ramble but this is the first time my husband has seemed to take any sort of recovery seriously. I'm cautiously hopeful but very aware that it can all fall apart at any time. Took a long time to get this deep into the darkness and I know it will take a long time and a lot of hard work and determination by him to get back to the light again.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
TG, I had a very similar experience but it was a weekend visit. All the hope and compassion flooding back when you see your SO sober, doing all the soul searching. All the families learning about all the family dynamics associated with addiction. All very uplifting. I too had the "keep it real" voice in the back of my head. Good luck to you guys!
Getting busy living!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Worcester MA
Posts: 199
Thank you all so much for your prayers and good thoughts! My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married 5. I've never, ever known him as a recovering alcoholic and he's never known me. But I must say one thing I can't get over is just how beautiful a blue his eyes are when they are surrounded by white eyes instead of red. And every time I hugged him yesterday I couldn't get enough of his own natural smell. It has always been beer and then vodka that I would smell when I got close. Small things to notice I know but I'm the type that will notice the smallest of improvements and be oh, so happy and thankful for each and every one.
Thank you all for being here with your supportive words. It really means so much! Bless you all!
Thank you all for being here with your supportive words. It really means so much! Bless you all!
*
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lincolnshire, England
Posts: 464
Hi Tomsgirl,
You are where I was more than 4 months ago, my P was in detox and suffering severe withdrawal ( he scared the Doctors!) to see him now you would not believe he had ever been so close to death. Like you I am also grateful for every little thing that I see in him; the clear eyes, the zest for life, the cheeky grins. He is the sweetest man even when he was drinking, never abusive. Tomorrow will be his 19th week sober and I am thankful for each new day, I hope you have many such days to look forward to.
Susane
You are where I was more than 4 months ago, my P was in detox and suffering severe withdrawal ( he scared the Doctors!) to see him now you would not believe he had ever been so close to death. Like you I am also grateful for every little thing that I see in him; the clear eyes, the zest for life, the cheeky grins. He is the sweetest man even when he was drinking, never abusive. Tomorrow will be his 19th week sober and I am thankful for each new day, I hope you have many such days to look forward to.
Susane
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