some things are just so obvious
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some things are just so obvious
I asked my H a very simple question lastnight, I said where is my printer, the one I bought, I donk know eight years back maybe. He became very defensive and told me I was going to ruin his surprise and to just leave it alone. Calling Me M'fer and taking his hat off violently, like he is going to hit me and giving me that sign that I just better leave it alone, or else.
You know what no F' you!!
I of course did not want to leave it alone, I wanted to know where my printer was, he eventually, very angry told me that he sold it to his cousin.
This printer was mine before we were married, I told him it was not his to sell and he had no right to take something that didnt belong to him and sell it or get rid of it without discussing it with me.
The reason he didnt want to tell me he says was because it was a surprise for me, and I of course had to ruin everything by making him tell me where my printer was. See he was going to buy me (he says) one of the little printers that you can hook up your camera too.
I said to him, what the hell does one thing have to do with the other, telling me that you sold my printer without discussing it with me is BS. I would not have sold my printer, I have three kids and one that is going off to college in one year, that could have used this printer. Selling my printer and buying me a present, is two totally different issues and you did not have to tell me what you were going to buy me. All I asked you is where my printer was.
He is frickin warped, he is trying to justify selling my printer, he knew I would have been pissed and if he would have asked me I would have told him no. He says in his mind one thing does have to do with the other, he wanted to surprise me and now I have ruined it, he is not going to buy me a dam thing now.
Of course I must be PMs'ing because I am overreacting, please justify you selling my printer without discussing it with me and me getting angry and calling you on it, pissed because I am pMs'ing. Now he says to me, do you want me to start lying to you, dont make me start lying to you.......I know quack, quack, quack. erggggggggg
Thank you for letting me vent.
You know what no F' you!!
I of course did not want to leave it alone, I wanted to know where my printer was, he eventually, very angry told me that he sold it to his cousin.
This printer was mine before we were married, I told him it was not his to sell and he had no right to take something that didnt belong to him and sell it or get rid of it without discussing it with me.
The reason he didnt want to tell me he says was because it was a surprise for me, and I of course had to ruin everything by making him tell me where my printer was. See he was going to buy me (he says) one of the little printers that you can hook up your camera too.
I said to him, what the hell does one thing have to do with the other, telling me that you sold my printer without discussing it with me is BS. I would not have sold my printer, I have three kids and one that is going off to college in one year, that could have used this printer. Selling my printer and buying me a present, is two totally different issues and you did not have to tell me what you were going to buy me. All I asked you is where my printer was.
He is frickin warped, he is trying to justify selling my printer, he knew I would have been pissed and if he would have asked me I would have told him no. He says in his mind one thing does have to do with the other, he wanted to surprise me and now I have ruined it, he is not going to buy me a dam thing now.
Of course I must be PMs'ing because I am overreacting, please justify you selling my printer without discussing it with me and me getting angry and calling you on it, pissed because I am pMs'ing. Now he says to me, do you want me to start lying to you, dont make me start lying to you.......I know quack, quack, quack. erggggggggg
Thank you for letting me vent.
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He eventually told me, he kept asking me to apologize to him for making him feel bad?????
I said I didnt make you feel anyway, you are making yourself feel that way. I told him how I felt and that was that, he did everything in his power for me to see what he did wasnt wrong and how dare I make him feel guilty for something that wasnt even being used.
The last person I would have sold it to was his cousin, he has been in and out of jail for the last 15 years, more in then out. If I was going to sell it, it was mine to sell and I would have given it to one of my family members, or one of my kids, but it was my choice not his.
I said I didnt make you feel anyway, you are making yourself feel that way. I told him how I felt and that was that, he did everything in his power for me to see what he did wasnt wrong and how dare I make him feel guilty for something that wasnt even being used.
The last person I would have sold it to was his cousin, he has been in and out of jail for the last 15 years, more in then out. If I was going to sell it, it was mine to sell and I would have given it to one of my family members, or one of my kids, but it was my choice not his.
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Why don't you sell something of his... at a yard sale when you're getting rid of all his crap!
What was the deal w/ that post yesterday? You had me thinking he was spying on you and reading your posts! Your request to a moderator had that sense of panic about it!! What's up w/ that? If he reads your posts, what would he do to you? Are you scared $hitless of this guy? Are you still putting up w/ this crap? Then you post today w/ no mention of the toxic drama from yesterday? Your life must be one hard life to live, that's all I can say. Why you choose to live it that way, I'll never understand. You better be walking around the house with a cordless phone dialed 9-1-
What was the deal w/ that post yesterday? You had me thinking he was spying on you and reading your posts! Your request to a moderator had that sense of panic about it!! What's up w/ that? If he reads your posts, what would he do to you? Are you scared $hitless of this guy? Are you still putting up w/ this crap? Then you post today w/ no mention of the toxic drama from yesterday? Your life must be one hard life to live, that's all I can say. Why you choose to live it that way, I'll never understand. You better be walking around the house with a cordless phone dialed 9-1-
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I had posted under another name Jazz, and my H did read all my posts, that is why I am under this new name now.
I dont think I created any kind of panic with a moderator and to me it was quite important why I requested my old user name be erased if possible. I did talk to a moderator through pm'ing and hopefully things will get worked out.
Thank you for your concern
Selling something of his would put me on his level wouldnt it.
I dont think I created any kind of panic with a moderator and to me it was quite important why I requested my old user name be erased if possible. I did talk to a moderator through pm'ing and hopefully things will get worked out.
Thank you for your concern
Selling something of his would put me on his level wouldnt it.
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Originally Posted by emily33
Selling something of his would put me on his level wouldnt it.
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whether anyone thinks I revell in it or not, is that the point really!!! I came here and posted and the end of my post was Thank you for letting me vent!!
Each and everyone's recovery is at a different time, but to be a part of alanon and SR which is based on the 12 steps is what I am looking for, and when going to a f to f meeting you are able to say whatever you want to say, without being judged or labeled something. I have learned quite a bit for posting and re-reading my own posts, I have also learned alot from alot of people who have been on here with me almost from day one, I will continue to do so, and if it is only reading I do, I will still learn alot just from reading.
I would like to believe that I do not revell in things, I would like to believe that I am working a true recovery program for myself and that I am less sick than what I was.
Each and everyone's recovery is at a different time, but to be a part of alanon and SR which is based on the 12 steps is what I am looking for, and when going to a f to f meeting you are able to say whatever you want to say, without being judged or labeled something. I have learned quite a bit for posting and re-reading my own posts, I have also learned alot from alot of people who have been on here with me almost from day one, I will continue to do so, and if it is only reading I do, I will still learn alot just from reading.
I would like to believe that I do not revell in things, I would like to believe that I am working a true recovery program for myself and that I am less sick than what I was.
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You are right you did come to vent on this post....
I just recall many of your posts where you are seeking advice but never seem to take any....
And everyone's recovery is their own, in their own time....
A lot of your posts tend to be potentially dangerous for you...even this one where you once again are being verbally abused and fear violent behaviour. ( like the hat thing....) you tend to make some people concerned over what may happen to you with this man.
Sorry if I offended you, just my opinion.
I just recall many of your posts where you are seeking advice but never seem to take any....
And everyone's recovery is their own, in their own time....
A lot of your posts tend to be potentially dangerous for you...even this one where you once again are being verbally abused and fear violent behaviour. ( like the hat thing....) you tend to make some people concerned over what may happen to you with this man.
Sorry if I offended you, just my opinion.
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I am not buying into FOB and thank you, I know what is real and it is because of me working on a true recovery program for myself that I am learning what is real and coming to this site has helped tremendously.
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Here's some good reading Adult Children of Alcoholics . Some of these posts might serve to give you some insight as to the kind of posts your children COULD be writing in another 15 years. I'm not kidding, just read them then think about it.
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pmaslm
honeslty no offense taken, I have posted alot of stuff of what transpires between me and my H, and I know what I should do, but I am not ready yet, I am more scared of leaving for some reason, then staying, for some reason I think the pain would be worse, I dont know what I am scared of, I cant explain, I am going to f to f meeting, I have called the police, I have a plan of escape, I have called hotline for advice. Two years ago I never would have even thought of these things.
But no matter what position that I am in at any given time, I would like to be able to express myself here, because I feel it is a safe place for me.
After two years pretty much everyone knows who I am, and sometimes I feel desperate and need to reach out.
I want to continue to be able to express myself here, because it makes me feel better. It is not to scare anyone or to hurt anyone and if that is what I do I am truly sorry. But as alot of post have said, take what you like and leave the rest and that is what I do.
honeslty no offense taken, I have posted alot of stuff of what transpires between me and my H, and I know what I should do, but I am not ready yet, I am more scared of leaving for some reason, then staying, for some reason I think the pain would be worse, I dont know what I am scared of, I cant explain, I am going to f to f meeting, I have called the police, I have a plan of escape, I have called hotline for advice. Two years ago I never would have even thought of these things.
But no matter what position that I am in at any given time, I would like to be able to express myself here, because I feel it is a safe place for me.
After two years pretty much everyone knows who I am, and sometimes I feel desperate and need to reach out.
I want to continue to be able to express myself here, because it makes me feel better. It is not to scare anyone or to hurt anyone and if that is what I do I am truly sorry. But as alot of post have said, take what you like and leave the rest and that is what I do.
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Jazzman, I have been to that sight, I have read a ton of material, in my f to f meetings we have adult children there, I have brought my daughter with me.
I love my kids more than anything in this world, that is fact, my kids know this.
Does that make me more sick because I am staying?? I suppose it does, but I refuse to feel hopeless.
I love my kids more than anything in this world, that is fact, my kids know this.
Does that make me more sick because I am staying?? I suppose it does, but I refuse to feel hopeless.
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Yes that is probably true about alcoholics...
It is just up to each individual how much of that crap one wants to take....
personally for me and for the welfare of my children the answer is ...absolutely none....
It is just up to each individual how much of that crap one wants to take....
personally for me and for the welfare of my children the answer is ...absolutely none....
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I think I said I refuse to feel hopeless. I dont doubt my kids know I love them, but honestly I dont think loving your kids is a given. It is a given for me and my kids, but it is not a given with their biological father.
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and I am learning that I deserve more, and each and every day I learn more and one day I will be ready to make that next step, when that day does come and I am sure it will, I have my friends here.
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