Wisher

Hi everyone,
I am new, I've been posting on the nar-anon, but I think I probably belong here more. My son is a drug addict but now because of a court order, he has to be drug tested everyday, so he has switched to alchohol to get his high. He is 20-years-old and lives with my husband and I along with his girlfriend and infant daughter. His life is a mess. He is so far into debt, due to his drug and alchohol use. I have quite "helping" him, thanks to this site and learning about codependency through Melodie Beattie.

My husband is a functioning alchoholic. When he is sober, he is the best husband in the world, but when he is drunk, which is about 4 nights a week, he becomes emotionally abusive and unbearable.

My life has become unbearable. I don't know what to do to make it better. I'm at a point where I could actually kick my son out of the house, I am so fed up with his addictions, lies and general chaos BUT I have my granddaughter to think of. She is safe here with me.

I don't want to leave my husband. Like I said, when he is sober, he is kind, thoughtful and wonderful to me. He still works and pays the bills, I know others have it much worse than I. But, I'm tired of being afraid when I see he is getting drunk, afraid of what will make him mad this time - because something ALWAYS makes him mad and he takes it out on me. He is very unhappy and unreasonable when he is drunk. I've spent 22 years walking on egg shells. I don't want to live this way anymore. But I don't want to leave either.

My son and husband fight when they are both drunk. Isn't that funny, neither one can stand to see the other one drunk.

The stress of living this way has taken away my sense of self. I don't know who I am anymore.

Thanks for listening.

ASpouse

My first thought is how sad that your son has grown up to be just like his dad! This is why I hate so very much that people bring children into the world with an alcoholic parent. (Not you, just in general).

Go to Al Anon, it's a good first step to getting your identity back.

Pick-a-name

I know so well the situation you describe. Sending you a hug and a prayer.

jackietv

Hello. I am a documentary tv producer looking for a family who wants assitance in beginning to help a family with addiction.

Please e-mail me for more details.

Thank you.

[email protected]

Wisher

Thank you ASpouse and pick-a-name for your responses.

Jackietv - It took me a long time to have the courage to even admit that I was in this situation. As I said, I've posted on nar-anon (where people are incredibly supportive and encouraging). Today was the first time I posted on al-anon because I am reaching a breaking point. I'm sorry, but, asking me to be on a "documentary" seems less than supportive and certainly not was I was looking for when I came here.

FriendofBill

Jackie is being upfront about what she is here for and who knows....it could be an opportunity to as she says,help a family.