chattanooga

I'd like to hear from those that have either way. I'm afraid that I'll still be needed from time to time to pick up the pieces of a night out drinking. Does it ever go away?

Jazzman

Chatt, how long has drinking/druging been a problem w/ your marriage?

harleygirl92156

Why, married or divorced, would it EVEN be your responsibility to pick up the pieces of the messes she makes for herself?

It won't go away until you start taking care of yourself and let her take care of herself. Basically, if it isn't your mess, keep your hands off it!

Have you ever gone to Al anon.....if not, run don't walk to the closest meeting. You need to learn to take care of yourself and quickly.

chattanooga

been a problem since our honeymoon June 04. She stayed drunk in Vegas almost the whole time. Made us late for Celine Dion.

best

There is always hope. Divorce happens when people feel that the hope is gone.

When first married, I would clean up after her. When I left the mess for her to clean up, things sure did change. Things changed so much that I started to realize, I was an alcoholic myself. She seemed to have changed over night... it took me a few years and a few more added troubles, before I started to accept the truth.

There is hope
There is help and support
There are answers
Your not alone in this battle

Jazzman

Like I said before, she might hit bottom and sober up, or she might not. Could take years. Sounds to me like you're in the "relatively" early stage of this toxic drama if using MY experience as any gauge.

Look, I don't want to come off like a completely insensitive cold hearted jerk, I'm quite the opposite actually. I got this hot button when young innocent children are affected by addiction in a parent. I still have this "virtual two by four" sitting here and would prefer not to have to pull it out again and start pummeling you upside the head...

I'll ask you some questions...

1) Have you moved back into the house yet?
2) Have you contacted a Lawyer yet?
3) Have you scheduled an appointment w/ a Therapist for yourself and your s-daughter yet?
4) Do you have any intentions of doing 1-3?

You have every right to wallow in self pity, and it's all part of the healing process. Please feel free to do so... LATER. You gotta put that on the back burner for now and take care of yourself and your s-daughter, FIRST priority!

Deal?

chattanooga

I went by yesterday to cut the grass and my wife gets out of bed around 3pm and comes outside. She and her friend Eva had been up all night drinking and playing cards with friends. We live in a 350k house and one fool parks halfway on the street and halfway on the grass. Eva came outside to tell her goodbye around 4 and she looked like death warmed over. My wife said she had never seen anyone who could drink so much. So Eva gets her 2 kids and gets in her BMW (she has a DUI and no drivers license) and goes home to recoup. My wife asks me to take her and the daughter to dinner and a movie which I do. It seems to me that she wants me around to be normal and Eva around for total kaos.....she can be comfortable with both. There has always been a sidekick in this madness for her ever since I've known her............I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS MADNESS

FriendofBill

amen to this!

Jazzman

Neither do I...

WHACK!!!
*jazz whacks chat upside the head w/a virtual 2x4*
I give up dude...
Good luck

Zoey

Please try to relax.
I know how hard it is to stop thinking of the things we hate, the drinking, bad friends, etc.
Try to relax, this does not have to be fixed over night.
Read read read. Learning about this will help so much.
Check the post on the book, "Getting them sober" by minnie, here on todays postings,
click on and read some of it on line.
Learning helps one relax a bit. Also I await your answers to Jazzman's questions, why have you ignored those questions???
We want to help.