i met someone this weekend
 

who,though i know i could never have a serious relationship with---validated the fact that j did not appreciate me,does not have a romantic bone in his body,and would have ended up putting our relationship into boredom and take for granted city forever!!
this person complimented me,which was something j did not do from the first moments we spent together.now,i am smart enough to know that many men will say anything to get you into the bedroom,but it just really did remind me of all the times in my life when men truly really did think (and verbalize) that i AM worthy of all these compliments the man who supposedly loved me so much, NEVER gave. :slomo:

Validated by "outsiders"
 

I know exactly what you mean. I just told my spouse yesterday that I go out in the world and people like me and compliment me and think I am funny and pleasant. I get nothing at home, no human touch, no validation, nothing. I feel so taken for granted, but I know that if he weren't drinking it would be better.....doesn't make it any easier......I am only 42...I'm not ready to give up on living. I go to Al-Anon, I talk to my Minister, my family. My gut says to leave, but it would kill him faster than the alcohol.. I'm ranting now....sorry.

rant all ya want!!! its just a damn shame when you feel more appreciated in the outside world more than you do in your intimate,private relationship. and then if it falls apart,they are like...duh---what'd i do??????????????????????????????????????

Good for you, sunshine. If YOU think you are worthy of the compliments, then that's more than half the battle. Do you?

Welcome ilovefabfour. You've found a great site here.
Who told you that? Actually, it might just be the most loving thing you can do for both of you. Time and time again I hear recovering alcoholics speak about how they only hit bottom and got into recovery after their partners threw them out.

Why not start a new thread and introduce yourself?