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Manipulation? Morning I've just spent an entire weekend doing what I wanted to do, for me. Having been joined at the hip for so long, I thought it would be hard to get into my old life again, catching up with friends I've been neglecting and remembering what it is that I like to do. Turns out it's not! Last night my partner had arranged to go out with some friends and meet up with mine. Of course, when the time came she didn't want to go. Normally I'd settle down for an evening on the couch, but not last night. I picked up her friends, met up with mine and had a lovely evening in a pub in Glasgow. This morning she was so sweet and attentive (even got up before I left the house!) that I left feeling uneasy, like I'd made her feel guilty, or left her to get lonely. This is nuts. I know I'm taking care of myself so why do I feel like a manipulating bitch? jane xxxx |
You shouldn't feel like a bitch. I know what you mean though. We spend so much of our time accomodating their needs and wants, that when we do something we desire, it feels odd at first. Don't worry, it gets easier, and after a while the old way feels odd! Glad you had fun:) |
You aren't manipulating, you are taking care of you. Hence why you feel guilty. :147: Ngaire |
practice, practice jane - it will get easier. new behaviors take time to feel comfortable and "right"! glad you had fun and enjoyed yourself! |
Originally Posted by Ngaire You aren't manipulating, you are taking care of you. Hence why you feel guilty. |
I get it, I think :) I'm just not used to getting out and doing it for ME! I don't want to leave her behind you know, but I'm not going to use my energy trying to drag her along with me either. It kind of feels like I'm making a new friend (a grumpy, twitchy, craving tobacco friend today, but a friend all the same) and I like her. Thanks for your replies, thanks a lot :) J xxx |
Originally Posted by bahookie It kind of feels like I'm making a new friend (a grumpy, twitchy, craving tobacco friend today, but a friend all the same) and I like her. |
Originally Posted by bahookie .... I don't want to leave her behind you know, ... Mike :-) |
"It's the old story of the glass that is half full or half empty. When I am actively in the insanity of my "codie-ism" I leave her behind. When I am actively in the recovery from my insantiy she chooses to stay behind." Oh very good! LOL that's brightened my withdrawal-filled day :) Jane xxx |
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