His Name is Richard, and He is an Alcoholic
(((FD)))) You did all you could for Richard. You hung in there and loved him when others didn't. There's nothing to be guilty of. Please know that.
And, like Codemaster said, he knows you love him.
I'm sorry, I truly am.
My prayers are with you and Richard!!
And, like Codemaster said, he knows you love him.
I'm sorry, I truly am.
My prayers are with you and Richard!!
****{FD,and,Richard}}}}}}}}}My prayers for Richard,and all whose lives he,is and has touched.
You,my dear have done the very best that you can/could ever have done,.Being human,we are very limited on how or even if we can help others.No person,can heal a soul.Please keep remembering this when the guilt comes trying to knock you down.
Through this sorrow you have a beautiful message to share.His name is Richard..Thank you..
You,my dear have done the very best that you can/could ever have done,.Being human,we are very limited on how or even if we can help others.No person,can heal a soul.Please keep remembering this when the guilt comes trying to knock you down.
Through this sorrow you have a beautiful message to share.His name is Richard..Thank you..
Last edited by Cap3; 10-28-2005 at 07:00 PM. Reason: adding
Originally Posted by FormerDoormat
His name is Richard, and he is an alcoholic.
I also would like to say I am married to a RA.
His name is Darrell and he is an alcoholic.............
After reading what you wrote I will NEVER again refer to my husband as an A or a RA.
You touched my heart!
P.S. Keep telling him you love him, even if he can't hear you with his ears or his brain, HIS HEART WILL FEEL YOU AND HEAR YOU! Keep talking to him.
I don't really know what to say. I swing between thinkig I can and have imagined and knowing what we imagine is never the reality.
Don't waste time on guilt, I don't believe I could stay to the end either - I also know that when I let D go it didn't mean he forgot he was loved, not for a whole decade - I don't believe people ever really forget that. Perhaps without the decision you made then you wouldn't be able to be where you are now, to have gone to see him as you did and I do believe his heart would know you were there despite the limits of his body.
The are people and I don't believe any of us will ever learn to deal with this if we deny that, a part of us knows a person is complete and stays very much human. You are grienving for someone as valid as any other man on this earth, loving him was not wrong, nor was letting him go, nor is being with him now.
Don't waste time on guilt, I don't believe I could stay to the end either - I also know that when I let D go it didn't mean he forgot he was loved, not for a whole decade - I don't believe people ever really forget that. Perhaps without the decision you made then you wouldn't be able to be where you are now, to have gone to see him as you did and I do believe his heart would know you were there despite the limits of his body.
The are people and I don't believe any of us will ever learn to deal with this if we deny that, a part of us knows a person is complete and stays very much human. You are grienving for someone as valid as any other man on this earth, loving him was not wrong, nor was letting him go, nor is being with him now.
FD, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't dehumanize the person suffering, I dehumanize the disease. So many alcoholics I know, recovering now, are the nicest people. Sometimes I try to imagine them "drinking" and it's difficult. I feel that alcoholics need to "love" themselves to start the recovery process. Someone elses love is not enough, as they feel unworthy.
By letting Richard go, you gave him the greatest gift of love you could. He knows you loved him and IF he passes, he'll understand that love. Unfortunately, you will never understand it, if that makes sense.
I hope that Richard makes it, just like Nancy above. Never say never ..... I have faith in Richard and in God. It's his battle now and I pray that God gives him the weapons of Faith Love and Hope to win!
Keep the Faith!
By letting Richard go, you gave him the greatest gift of love you could. He knows you loved him and IF he passes, he'll understand that love. Unfortunately, you will never understand it, if that makes sense.
I hope that Richard makes it, just like Nancy above. Never say never ..... I have faith in Richard and in God. It's his battle now and I pray that God gives him the weapons of Faith Love and Hope to win!
Keep the Faith!
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
My heart goes out to you and Richard!! I will pray for you both today. I aggree with you about calling our loved ones "A"s. I often felt bad about doing it. So, in honor of Richard - My husbands name is Burt and he is the alcoholic in my life. Love & prayers are going out to you!!! Kerry
Jill
What a beautiful, heartfelt sharing of love and compassion. Thank you for telling us Richards name, for putting a real life person in front of the disease.
He is lucky to have you there ti be with him now...and dont think for a moment that he is *not* aware that you are.....
Hugs, prayers and gratitude to you...and to Richard.
What a beautiful, heartfelt sharing of love and compassion. Thank you for telling us Richards name, for putting a real life person in front of the disease.
He is lucky to have you there ti be with him now...and dont think for a moment that he is *not* aware that you are.....
Hugs, prayers and gratitude to you...and to Richard.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
FD...if you get a chance to read these posts, I'm hoping you'll get to this one. He may not be able to hear you all the time, but there are times of consciousness when he can. I was with my grandfather when he was ill. I talked to him, prayed for him and read to him never knowing if he heard me. When I was getting ready to leave, I kissed him and told him I was leaving and would see him the next day. He started crying. He'd heard me. I didn't leave and he passed several hours later.
I talked to the visiting nurse about it and she said they do go in and out and do hear everything that's going on, so it was good that I did talk to him.
Richard knows you've been there and knows you love him. Take heart in that. He knows.
Blessings
I talked to the visiting nurse about it and she said they do go in and out and do hear everything that's going on, so it was good that I did talk to him.
Richard knows you've been there and knows you love him. Take heart in that. He knows.
Blessings
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
FD...I can't even begin to describe the feelings I am feeling right now. I am so sorry
that this is happening....you have made me think very hard today....
prayers to you and Richard, my friend.
that this is happening....you have made me think very hard today....
prayers to you and Richard, my friend.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Richard. In honor of Richard, I also want to disclose the name of my husband, the man I love, a good father, has a good heart and I know deep down he loves me. It has been 20 days since he quit, and I worry about him every day. He is sick, and is trying to find his way. I pray to God that he takes care of all our loves ones. My husband's name is Luis, and he is an alcoholic.
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FD I have missed you, I am so sorry that you are going through this. My heart just broke reading this post. In honor of Richard I will never refer to my Husband as an A. May God be with you in these times.
I will keep you and Richard in my prayers. Keep talking to him, I truly believe in my heart they can hear you, and they know you are there. My brother knew, I know.
I will keep you and Richard in my prayers. Keep talking to him, I truly believe in my heart they can hear you, and they know you are there. My brother knew, I know.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Jill, I love that name by the way.....
I just can't get over your post....
I sent it to my ex today.
I called him (yes I did) to tell him to please read it....
My heart breaks for you.
The man that I love with all my heart is an alcoholic,
His name is John and I am Patty.
And I too will never refer to him as an A again.
God bless us all in this terrible disease that takes away.....
I just can't get over your post....
I sent it to my ex today.
I called him (yes I did) to tell him to please read it....
My heart breaks for you.
The man that I love with all my heart is an alcoholic,
His name is John and I am Patty.
And I too will never refer to him as an A again.
God bless us all in this terrible disease that takes away.....
I thought about sending this story to my ex as well, but I would just be accused of being a bitch, as he doesn't have a "problem."
Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Jill,
Your story about Richard as been on my mind all day and all last night. I'm so sorry about Richard. God I hate this disease....it's just so sad...for everyone involved.
Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Jill,
Your story about Richard as been on my mind all day and all last night. I'm so sorry about Richard. God I hate this disease....it's just so sad...for everyone involved.
Still thinking of you FD. I've thought about this lots today, I wish there was something to say that would make it easier but I doubt that. I hope they've been able to make Richard comfortable and I hope you've managed to find small glimpses of peace, I'm sure more will come later.
You've helped me so much - I wish there was something more I could offer in return.
You've helped me so much - I wish there was something more I could offer in return.
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