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Me? Agitated?

Old 10-25-2005, 10:23 AM
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Me? Agitated?

Spent all day yesterday wondering what I was doing by staying in this relationship.

Came home, asked him for some space and he gave it to me, he stayed in the bedroom, until I felt like talking.

When I finally felt like talking to him I told him very calmly the following:

I am questioning my decision to stay in the relationship.
Im not sure I want to live my life like this forever.
I deserve better than this.
I hate being lied to and while I dont believe a word out of his mouth, Its not very fun to be in a relaltionship with no trust. I told him to just keep his damn mouth shut please instead of lying, just dont even say anything.
I am not proud of him or his decisions (no job, no recovery)


He basically had nothing to say, said he was tired of my bitching and thats why he lies to me bc I am such a bitch that he doesnt want to tell me the truth becuase i will just get mad.
Said he wont recover unless I promise to never have a drink.
The he said maybe he should just move out.

My response was. "Maybe that would be best".

So, here is what I am prepared to do if he wants to work it out.
Nothing.

Ive done all the bending I care to do. I am not Gumby, and will not bend anymore. He can live with it, or live somewhere else. I am over it.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:32 AM
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((((Sarah Elizabeth))))

You left, you came back, it didn't work out. You gave it your best shot, hon.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:35 AM
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Been there, done that! I'm normally very tolerant, but everyone has their breaking point. I have used the same analogy many times. You push, I'll bend, you push again, I'll bend again. But at some point, I will not bend anymore. I don't stop right there either, I'll snap back straight up in your face and tell you I'm all done. I guess I don't really have a breaking point, more like a "snap back in your face" point. Sorry to hear you're at that point... I guess, then again, maybe not. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:36 AM
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No trust cant have a good relationship, theres always hope in the future, for now, its time to protect yourself. Best wishes.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:40 AM
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You gave it your all and there comes a point when you can't do anymore. Know whatever decision you make will be a good healthy one.

Blessings
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:46 AM
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a one-sided relationship is no relationship at all. you have come a long way and will make the right decision for you, i know!!!!
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:48 AM
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Good call on the snap back in your face point Jazz.
Im there.

You know, the emotional manipulation is what has irritates me the most.

I get tired of CONSTANTLY defending my boundries. Anyone else feel liek that? Like if you let up for a half a second, you will get stomped on? Its like I am forever on guard and have to watch out for boundry invasions. Thats not a way to live.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:51 AM
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YES!!! And I am still having to do it 10 months on. I have never been so tired in my life.

I was talking with someone about this the other day. In "normal" life, I have to defend a boundary with someone maybe every ....... I just don't know. I couldn't remember the last time. With R it is EVERY time we have contact and I am always on guard in between.

Feck this for a game of soldiers.
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Old 10-25-2005, 11:03 AM
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Your right... that is no way to live.

Know we are here for ya, make the best decisions for you hon.
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Old 10-25-2005, 11:03 AM
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Exactly Minnie! Healthy Relationships don't require such constant babysitting of boundaries.

I think I have become overly sensitive in matters of boundaries! They are supposed to be guidelines, but mine are now like foreign borders to me. If you dare tread, then be prepared for resistance!!!
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Old 10-25-2005, 11:20 AM
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:Lmao

minnie thanks for the comedic relief!
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Old 10-25-2005, 11:24 AM
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Feck this for a game of soldiers.
:Lmao
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Old 10-25-2005, 11:48 AM
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It's like a chess game...lots of strategy when involved with an A. Mine said I was always on the defense....ya think????
You are doing what is right for you and that is the most important thing anyway. Hang tough.
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