Don't know what to do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Springfield MO
Posts: 1
Don't know what to do
I need help finding the strength to leave my husband who caused a lot of drama yesterday. I have a toddler who needs me to be strong and I am sick about what I should do. He is a good person but has relapses that are horrific. I cannot afford our house and he cannot live here alone (my family owns the house). I love this man with all of my heart but his own mother has told me to leave him, that maybe me going will straighten him up. I don't know what to do.
Last edited by LeighMc; 10-18-2005 at 01:55 PM. Reason: Gave too much info to have my state and town listed
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Just about everyone here has....
Welcome to SR.....
Please read as many posts as you can, you will find many of us who have been there
or where you are right now.
Keep coming back we are glad you found us.
Welcome to SR.....
Please read as many posts as you can, you will find many of us who have been there
or where you are right now.
Keep coming back we are glad you found us.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: out of town
Posts: 85
My advice would be to work towards being financially independant. I was in the same position " couldn't do it alone". Well guess what, my husband went to prision for drivng around drunk to many times and eventually hitting someone in a cross walk. The person wasn't hurt seriously, but he was given enough time for me to lose my house. Needless to say I am moving on. I was married for 23 years with 3 kids and I should have left years ago. It is not easy starting over at 46, but the peace in my life is wonderful. It is to bad they released him without any citation maybe he needed a wake up call. Best of luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR! We are glad you found us.
Sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in. If this just happened and you just begining to think about seperation, I might suggest that you get some support first... come up with a game plan and follow through.
You said he relasped, does that mean he was working a program? Are you working a program like Al-anon??
Sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in. If this just happened and you just begining to think about seperation, I might suggest that you get some support first... come up with a game plan and follow through.
You said he relasped, does that mean he was working a program? Are you working a program like Al-anon??
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: out of town
Posts: 85
Al-anon is a wonderful support group and I suggest looking into it, the only problem is they don't make house payments. If he is driving around drunk it only takes a second for your life to be turned upside down. Please protect yourself! Some may say my story is extreme, check out the legal system and you will find out that it happens more times than not and you will be left holding the bag. I worked for 20 years and lost everything.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbus Ga
Posts: 68
I know about horrific relapses. It was the straw that broke the camel's back in my relationship. I agree that you should have a game plan. Only you can choose how much you can take. If you don't have the strength now, eventually the resentment will make staying impossible. You have a better chance of saving the relationship if you set some boundaries and are firm in them. Even if that means that you separate until he remains sober for a set amount of time and follows a program.
That's what I chose to do. I don't know what my SO's plans are because I only gave him my conditions recently. What I do know is that it is the only thing that will save the relationship. I also know that anymore from him and there will be nothing left of the relationship.
Make your own choices and strengthen yourself.
That's what I chose to do. I don't know what my SO's plans are because I only gave him my conditions recently. What I do know is that it is the only thing that will save the relationship. I also know that anymore from him and there will be nothing left of the relationship.
Make your own choices and strengthen yourself.
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