kimmyf1965

It's been at least 3 months since I have been able to stop by and tell everyone hello. I've been extremely busy with my job. Just got a promotion and I'm have to work way to much. The good news is that I just didn't have time to worry about what my AH was doing. I go to bed when I'm ready and if he disappears while I'm sleeping oh well. He has been sober for a few weeks not but isn't seeking any help with his problem.

A few weeks ago I think he actually realized the seriousness of this. He drank until about 3 am and came home from the neighbors. He knocked pictures off the wall, pissed all over the bathroom floor, wet his pants in the process, and fell in the floor with his pants around his ankles and passed out. Of course I left him in the floor!!! I was literally sick the next day over it. Not because he was drunk but because this is the man I married. It made my stomach turn!!! A grown man acting this way!!! I was doing so good with not letting him get to me but then this happened. I really had thoughts of knocking him over the head with something. The next day I told him what he had done and he said he didn't remember a thing that had happened. So he says he is giving it up drinking totally. I guess I'll see??? But what worries me the most is my thoughts. I was really so angry with him!!! I really wanted to knock him over the head with something. Maybe I'll get lucky and he really will quit this time but I'm not holding my breath!!

Minx1969

Hey Kimmy -

Welcome back..Glad to hear that you are keeping busy and keeping the focus on you!

Are you going to Alanon at all? (I can't remember)..

kimmyf1965

I really can't find the time right now. I have a handicapped child that is sick all the time and it's hard for me to get out. Secondly, I'm working 60 -70 hours a week so I stay exhausted!!! I do read when I have time and I've just learned to either ignore the insanity or get our. I haven't had to deal with the verbal abuse since I made this decision and it seems to be working for me.

reader

Hi Kimmy, By leaving him on the floor like that you didn't enable him. Good job! I would have struggled with not helping him but you did the right thing. I would have been sick to my stomach too. I'm such a nervous nellie I would never had been able to get back to sleep. It sounds like you are doing great in your job and focusing on you. Let's hope this was an eye opener for him. It is hard to watch someone you care about go through this. I hope things change for him and for you. Take Care of you, With love, Kerry

splendra

Being a very strong and phyiscally fit person I find that it is best that I channel my anger into chopping wood or hoeing in the garden and use my strength for kindness and for holding my ground. I already have all the proof I need that my H has a weakness and I contribute to that weakness in him when I shame him with my anger or entertain thoughts of phyiscally injuring him because his illness is sticking it's tongue out at me. I wanna be strong enough to hold out my hand to him and help him get up when he is ready...