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-   -   Enabling? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/73965-enabling.html)

Winter 10-14-2005 08:28 PM

Enabling?
 
My alcoholic sibling is in jail for DUI's (3rd-1-2 yrs, and 4th sentencing on it's way) and is pursuing work release via job applications through me (physically delivering them). Is it considered enabling for me to deliver them in person? She claims that it is better if a family memeber drops off the applications rather than they be mailed. Is this true? Thanks for any insight.

escape artist 10-15-2005 05:32 AM

do you feel comfortable doing this or do you feel she is trying to use you for her own interests? if you feel the latter and you are doing it anyway, you are most likely enabling her.
personally, (and i am a hardass) i would tell her to do it herself. she got herself into it and she needs to learn to get herself out of it without resorting to using someone else *again* to do it for her. some would call it tough love-- i would call it tough shiit.

FriendofBill 10-15-2005 05:42 AM

When I do for someone what they *need* to do for themselves, it is enabling.

There is nothing wrong with mailing them,,she just wants them delivered faster perhaps. A good strong NO might let her know that people will not solve her problems anymore.

Winter 10-16-2005 08:09 PM

Thanks for the advice-it helped!


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