How to get him to stop calling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 7
How to get him to stop calling
Hi all, I'm new here. I dated this guy for about 5 months- into month 5, I guess he got comfortable and started showing his true side- the alcoholic. He lied, hid vodka bottles in my house and my second car (which I'm trying to sell). Anyhow, to make a long story short, about three weeks ago I booted him out, changed the locks and put his stuff outside for him to pick up.
I've not had any extended conversations with him since then, went one week without hearing anything (which was wonderful), but then got 8 calls yesterday. It's unreal to me, he honestly thinks I'd want to go to this "graduation" for a seminar he attended this past weekend. I'm about to change my cell phone number, but then I'm afraid he'll show up at my apartment. Hopefully not, since the last time he did I had him escorted off the property by security- and of course, he was drunk. I will not deal with him, my last two exes were alcoholics/addicts, and I've spent too much time in therapy and working on myself to deal with another one.
Any suggestions on how to get him to leave me alone?
I've not had any extended conversations with him since then, went one week without hearing anything (which was wonderful), but then got 8 calls yesterday. It's unreal to me, he honestly thinks I'd want to go to this "graduation" for a seminar he attended this past weekend. I'm about to change my cell phone number, but then I'm afraid he'll show up at my apartment. Hopefully not, since the last time he did I had him escorted off the property by security- and of course, he was drunk. I will not deal with him, my last two exes were alcoholics/addicts, and I've spent too much time in therapy and working on myself to deal with another one.
Any suggestions on how to get him to leave me alone?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Celtica, welcome.
They are nothing if not persistent, yeah?
Screen your calls until you change your number, he's obviously looking for attention.
Attention seekers don't usually hang around too long when they lose their audience.
Sooner or later, he'll find another stage.
They are nothing if not persistent, yeah?
Screen your calls until you change your number, he's obviously looking for attention.
Attention seekers don't usually hang around too long when they lose their audience.
Sooner or later, he'll find another stage.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 7
Well, this was interesting. In one of his messages to me on Monday, he told me his roomate's girlfriend wanted her cat carrier back. I had the carrier because we brought exAbf's rabbit to my place in it. (Which, incidentally, I still have and am not giving back to him- he can't even take care of himself, let alone another living creature, but that's another story). I decided yesterday to call her myself since I know her. I left her a message telling her I'd be happy to meet her somewhere and give her the carrier, but not at their place since I didn't want to see or talk to the exabf.
Well, last night, HE calls and leaves this message: (I won't answer the phone)
"Well, T told me you called and I guess this is my courtesy F-off. Frankly I'm disappointed, I thought you were much more mature than that and could have had the courtesy to call me instead of leaving malicious messages on my friend's phones. I know you're angry and I understand, and you're reacting how you want to react, which is fine, but frankly I think you're overreacting and being more than just a little silly. I guess if I never talk to you again, have a nice life, I do mean that. But, I need to get that cat carrier, so leave it outside your apartment or drop it off here, give me a call."
Well, screw that- I have a mutual friend who is going over there this weekend to pick up her bbq grill, and I'm just giving her the flipping cat carrier to take.
I think he was just looking for attention and to attempt to bring me down, does that seem right? I'm still rather angry over it- I'm immature, when he's the one who did doughnuts in the mud in my car I'm trying to sell, hid vodka bottles in my house, lied, has lost two jobs and is about to not have a place to live? Argh!!!!! I won't call and respond though, I think that's what he wants, right?
Well, last night, HE calls and leaves this message: (I won't answer the phone)
"Well, T told me you called and I guess this is my courtesy F-off. Frankly I'm disappointed, I thought you were much more mature than that and could have had the courtesy to call me instead of leaving malicious messages on my friend's phones. I know you're angry and I understand, and you're reacting how you want to react, which is fine, but frankly I think you're overreacting and being more than just a little silly. I guess if I never talk to you again, have a nice life, I do mean that. But, I need to get that cat carrier, so leave it outside your apartment or drop it off here, give me a call."
Well, screw that- I have a mutual friend who is going over there this weekend to pick up her bbq grill, and I'm just giving her the flipping cat carrier to take.
I think he was just looking for attention and to attempt to bring me down, does that seem right? I'm still rather angry over it- I'm immature, when he's the one who did doughnuts in the mud in my car I'm trying to sell, hid vodka bottles in my house, lied, has lost two jobs and is about to not have a place to live? Argh!!!!! I won't call and respond though, I think that's what he wants, right?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Yepppers that is what he wants alright.
He is hitting what I call the attack button. Just do what your doing and he will go away, they get bored real easy and will move on.
OHHHHH and welcome to SR!
He is hitting what I call the attack button. Just do what your doing and he will go away, they get bored real easy and will move on.
OHHHHH and welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: la la land
Posts: 196
I've heard ALL of that before, minus the cat carrier. They have volenteer police officers everywhere. Call and ask one to pay him a visit and ask him not to contact you. It sounds like he will leave you alone. Don't draw any attention to yourself like talking about him to your friends or his friends. Good luck.
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