Recover or Complain?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Recover or Complain?
What is your purpose here on Sober Recovery?
Seems for a long time now most people seek to post expressing thier angry, frustration and resentment against the alcoholics in their life, and rejecting the help, suggestions and ideas others post.
So, what is it for you, to recover or to complain?
Seems for a long time now most people seek to post expressing thier angry, frustration and resentment against the alcoholics in their life, and rejecting the help, suggestions and ideas others post.
So, what is it for you, to recover or to complain?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
ROFL tooo funny smoke
For me its recovery..... and so I dont forget where I came from. A side benefit is that just maybe I can help someone else
When a newbie comes here and is hurting, angry and venting.... it soooo real for me, I remember feeling that way, I remember being out of control and insane. I dont ever want to go back there again, and reminding myself of where I came from keeps me humble.
Also so many stories I read here helped me not feel alone, I could see others going through it too... it kept me sane..... if I can do that for another.... what a great way to give back what I took when I needed it.
For me its recovery..... and so I dont forget where I came from. A side benefit is that just maybe I can help someone else
When a newbie comes here and is hurting, angry and venting.... it soooo real for me, I remember feeling that way, I remember being out of control and insane. I dont ever want to go back there again, and reminding myself of where I came from keeps me humble.
Also so many stories I read here helped me not feel alone, I could see others going through it too... it kept me sane..... if I can do that for another.... what a great way to give back what I took when I needed it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by Dakoda
I'm here to learn how to recover, vent my frustration and yes, sometimes anger, ask questions, seek advice, offer hope to others and to always be reminded when a newbie comes along that we are ALL in different stages of recovery.
It's not uncommon for people to be horrified at the behavior of the alcoholics that they love. Sometimes in the beginning, all a newbie CAN do is vent because it's been building up for so long. This may be the ONLY place they can do so, safely! I'm so glad that people can do this here and I defend their right to do so.
We all have choices, and if we don't like what a particular person is posting about, we can choose not to respond, correct?
It's not uncommon for people to be horrified at the behavior of the alcoholics that they love. Sometimes in the beginning, all a newbie CAN do is vent because it's been building up for so long. This may be the ONLY place they can do so, safely! I'm so glad that people can do this here and I defend their right to do so.
We all have choices, and if we don't like what a particular person is posting about, we can choose not to respond, correct?
Double that!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
I'm here for recovery for being a codie.And, to give help to anyone looking for it from a RA's point of view.
There is gonna be alot of anger. There will also be alot of fear, frustration and sadness.....greif. Alcoholism or any addiction is not a happy topic.
BUT.....and that's a big BUT...there is hope and recovery and alot of people finding that and changing their lives SO much for the better.
We take what we can and leave the rest.
There is gonna be alot of anger. There will also be alot of fear, frustration and sadness.....greif. Alcoholism or any addiction is not a happy topic.
BUT.....and that's a big BUT...there is hope and recovery and alot of people finding that and changing their lives SO much for the better.
We take what we can and leave the rest.
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Originally Posted by Dakoda
I'm here to learn how to recover, vent my frustration and yes, sometimes anger, ask questions, seek advice, offer hope to others and to always be reminded when a newbie comes along that we are ALL in different stages of recovery.
It's not uncommon for people to be horrified at the behavior of the alcoholics that they love. Sometimes in the beginning, all a newbie CAN do is vent because it's been building up for so long. This may be the ONLY place they can do so, safely! I'm so glad that people can do this here and I defend their right to do so.
We all have choices, and if we don't like what a particular person is posting about, we can choose not to respond, correct?
It's not uncommon for people to be horrified at the behavior of the alcoholics that they love. Sometimes in the beginning, all a newbie CAN do is vent because it's been building up for so long. This may be the ONLY place they can do so, safely! I'm so glad that people can do this here and I defend their right to do so.
We all have choices, and if we don't like what a particular person is posting about, we can choose not to respond, correct?
And by not responding in a judgemental way.. Take what you like and LEAVE the rest!! Isn't that the saying in AA and Al-Anon??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 71
The purpose of this forum is stated as, "Are you a friend, family member or loved one of someone who is or may be alcoholic? Get support, help and information."
It does not say take the advice given to you or else get out.
People can come here, vent their frustrations and recieve support, and that is all it has to be. If someone chooses to take someone else's advice, that is his/her choice, not a requirement. Not all advice is helpful. We all the have the oppportunity to "take what we want and leave the rest."
It does not say take the advice given to you or else get out.
People can come here, vent their frustrations and recieve support, and that is all it has to be. If someone chooses to take someone else's advice, that is his/her choice, not a requirement. Not all advice is helpful. We all the have the oppportunity to "take what we want and leave the rest."
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
i'm here for feedback from those who are either many steps ahead of me or behind me - i seem to get something out of everyone's posting here.
i'll have a mocha coffee please with whipped cream! LOL
i'll have a mocha coffee please with whipped cream! LOL
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
I think there is a WHOLE big peice missing from this complain or recover questions...
Education.
If I was a first time poster on this site, I would NEVER even know that I had to recover from ANYTHING until I was educated with love and respect in a non judgemental and gentle way.
There are many folks here who do that well.
Thank you.
Education.
If I was a first time poster on this site, I would NEVER even know that I had to recover from ANYTHING until I was educated with love and respect in a non judgemental and gentle way.
There are many folks here who do that well.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I came here seeking understanding. Seeking education of alcoholism and it's effects on those around them.
I came here to better myself - in essence, to begin my journey to recovery.
I've stayed because I've learned a lot, I've grown, and I continue to grow. I stay because of the members and what all this board offers me.
I really didn't post a lot when I first came here, I simply read. I remember one night in particular, I was reading a post written by someone on this board. I was reading with tears streaming down my face. I think that was the night that I knew I wasn't planning to leave anytime soon. That post hit me in the heart - it made me know that someone out there could totally relate to how I felt as I could've posted that very same post myself. It made me realize that I was not insane and losing my mind - It was just proof what alcoholism can do to those around the disease.
I continue to stay. Only now it's not all about me and what I can learn. It's about being there for someone else who may be able to relate to one of my posts or one of my thoughts. It's in giving support and also simply giving my presence. Being codependent and affected by alcoholism made me feel very much alone as I went through the years of denial, of hiding my real life from those around me, as I felt that no one really understood, etc. I hope that my presence here will make someone else not feel alone as I no longer feel alone.
And if that means that sometimes when I post my thoughts and my feelings, it comes out frustrated, angry, etc. well, I'm only human. And my thoughts are just that - mine. I would think that it's normal to be angry and bitter sometimes, resentful and hurt. And to express that pain, in my opinion, is only a step in recovery. To bottle it, to hide it, to lie and cover our feelings would not be recovery, it would be a lie and self defeating as well.
I'm here to grow - something I hope that I never stop doing.
I came here to better myself - in essence, to begin my journey to recovery.
I've stayed because I've learned a lot, I've grown, and I continue to grow. I stay because of the members and what all this board offers me.
I really didn't post a lot when I first came here, I simply read. I remember one night in particular, I was reading a post written by someone on this board. I was reading with tears streaming down my face. I think that was the night that I knew I wasn't planning to leave anytime soon. That post hit me in the heart - it made me know that someone out there could totally relate to how I felt as I could've posted that very same post myself. It made me realize that I was not insane and losing my mind - It was just proof what alcoholism can do to those around the disease.
I continue to stay. Only now it's not all about me and what I can learn. It's about being there for someone else who may be able to relate to one of my posts or one of my thoughts. It's in giving support and also simply giving my presence. Being codependent and affected by alcoholism made me feel very much alone as I went through the years of denial, of hiding my real life from those around me, as I felt that no one really understood, etc. I hope that my presence here will make someone else not feel alone as I no longer feel alone.
And if that means that sometimes when I post my thoughts and my feelings, it comes out frustrated, angry, etc. well, I'm only human. And my thoughts are just that - mine. I would think that it's normal to be angry and bitter sometimes, resentful and hurt. And to express that pain, in my opinion, is only a step in recovery. To bottle it, to hide it, to lie and cover our feelings would not be recovery, it would be a lie and self defeating as well.
I'm here to grow - something I hope that I never stop doing.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
The purpose this board serves for me, other than to biTch, moan and groan is to give me the encouragement and drive it takes to continue on my path to recovery. Man, I've got to complain. No one else will listen. Probably because no one else understands what I'm going through. But primarily, this is my class of sweet knowledge and direction.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: out there...
Posts: 2,653
It's not uncommon for people to be horrified at the behavior of the alcoholics that they love
nor baffled by the behaviours of the codies who spin out when the alkies they love finally sober up.
(duckin and runnin.)
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Tyler, Texas
Posts: 1,028
Nooooo Gooch !!!! Do NOT duck and run you are absolutely right !!!
I am a codie saying you are right right right !!!
I have a friend that used to come on here ( won't say any names) ....known her and her husband for years...she went to rehab has her life right on track and is doing great and he totally FELL apart !!!
They are getting divorced now because she is CLEAN !!!
You know I'd have done ANYTHING for my ex to have cleaned up...I was so baffled and soooo ticked off !!
I was truly amazed and puzzled
I am a codie saying you are right right right !!!
I have a friend that used to come on here ( won't say any names) ....known her and her husband for years...she went to rehab has her life right on track and is doing great and he totally FELL apart !!!
They are getting divorced now because she is CLEAN !!!
You know I'd have done ANYTHING for my ex to have cleaned up...I was so baffled and soooo ticked off !!
I was truly amazed and puzzled
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