sunshinebluesky

last summer my ex--the ase certified mechanic-on a very rare occasion,put a new distributor in my truck. when i went to drive it,i got a mile down the road and smoke was coming out of the steering column. i shut it off,waited,it started--when i got back to the house all he did was look real quick under the hood,said he didnt see anything. i told him to give me his fire extingisher to keep with me for awhile. he did. and thats all he did. it was running kind of crappy,and a couple weeks later i had left it at his house and used my car. when he went to go start it awhile later,it wouldnt. his boss was living with him at the time (another ase certified mechanic).it sat in his driveway for about two months-broke down. they said MAYBE it was the fuel pump and i said no,cuz i had that replaced. after i broke up with him the second time back then, around october,i had it towed by some other guy that did towing and car work. he wasnt a real reputable kind of guy,but he said he would look at it over time,he thought he could fix it,and work with me with money. i said i didnt care how long he took,as i really didnt have much money and was in no hurry. well,i didnt mean a damn YEAR!! he kept telling me it was ready when it wasnt,told me he kept finding more wires and stuff burnt up inside there, whatever.....he moved his business back a few months ago,along with my truck. a couple weeks ago,i find out his phone is disconnected,my truck is in a gated, locked, back lot, behind a zillion other cars,and no one can get up with him. well,to make that part of the story short,i got up with the landlord of the gated lot,and he said all the vehicles have to be out of there by the end of this month.and he would keep in touch with me and help me make sure i get my truck..it also is in a very bad neighborhood. i go by there today and the gate was open,they had finally started moving some of the vehicles but the guy i was dealing with once again was not there. but i wanted to make sure i didnt have anything important in the truck for when they get it out to the street-so i can pay to have it towed yet again---i was able to get my motorcycle helmet out of it that I BOUGHT to ride the ex's bike (that only happened,like twice in two and a half years) also found that the truck is a mess....crap thrown all over the seats and floor,my stuff, parts--steering column apart, water on the driver side floor....i am just sooooo pissed. what the hell is wrong with people???????now i have to worry about when and are they gonna let me know when it gets to the street,so it doesnt sit in that neighborhood. no point in going after the guy as in court or anything,cuz he wont make good on any money im awarded...you can tell that.God only knows how much more its messed up than it was before.
and it just made me think about all the things the ex didnt do for me. the helmet was kind of old,i bought it used-now the buckle is rusted from water or moisture getting in the truck,so i dont want to use it even if i had a use to,but i have it hanging in the back of my car. to remind me of so many reasons that relationship had to end,and how i deserve so much more. i had to make two deliveries to his shop today,and i purposely parked so i could come and go without seeing him.i still could,and i hope i never do again.i remember a few months ago,it was an effort to raise my arm to wave,then it got alittle easier.now,its gonna be an effort again. i have no need for idle conversation,no need to hear anything at all from him. good or bad. i just dont care about him at all. to think of a "how ya doin",i cant...cuz i dont care how hes doing. i dont care about anything in his life. i sit here and think,well if you dont care why are you writing this? maybe its because now the care about him personally is gone,its the care about ME that is growing and learning thru the debris that will eventually all be gone.

Savana 54

By your last sentence, sounds like you're making lots of progress!!

Will you be able to get your truck back? If you have any problems maybe you should seek the advice of an attorney.

Hugs,
Savana

FormerDoormat

I found that focusing on all the things my ex didn't do for me clouded my mind and slowed my recovery. Letting go of things that are over and done with helped me let go of my anger, free my mind, and focus on the positive things in life.

sunshinebluesky

i agree and yet disagree with that. at least for me. for one thing,sometimes something just triggers it (like the whole now ordeal with trying to get my truck back). cant really help what the mind jumps to. but i find it to be a good thing when it points me to that direction. if i wasnt pointed to that direction in the first place,i wouldnt have left him....and now in the aftermath,if i didnt get pointed to that direction on occasion...being sometimes lonely and vulnerable,i would only see the good and maybe try to push the friend issue or be reciprical if he ever wanted that or a reconciliation. i am thankful sometimes that these things happen to keep me in check!!!

pmaslan

I have decided that my exA is dead....
I have thrown away anything and everything that reminds me of him.
I will soon be moving to a new condo and everything will be for the first time.
Since he is 500 miles away I don't run the risk of running into him.
Since I don't go to the bars he patronized, I don't get asked about him.
Since all my friends and family despised him that don't ask either.
He really doesn't call or email that much anymore and if he does it goes unanswered.
A wrong number in my book.
So it is easy for me to just consider him dead, as he really is to me.
It makes it easier for me to get on with my life.