Do you ever feel like...

Old 09-27-2005, 04:47 PM
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Do you ever feel like...

...the odds are all stacked against you?

That's exactly how I've felt for the last couple weeks. This has gotten me in a terrible rut. I started feeling worthless, like I couldn't do anything right. I mean, everything I touched was going wrong! I've been waking up late for work, I can barely pay my bills and feed my kids. I have a wedding I'm in coming up that I don't have the money for. I've pushed a very good friend of mine away. My boss sucks. My car sucks. My daughter has impetego so that was more money at the Dr. office. The list goes on and on.

Well, its time I get off my damn soap box. Things will not get better unless I get up and pull myself together. Next month I get the money I've been putting into my Christmas Club account. I decided today that since I pay half of ALL my bills every two weeks, that if I'm two weeks late on half my mortgage, it won't kill me. I will make a double payment when I get my Christmas club money. That way, I will have money for the dress and alterations for the wedding.

I got a call today because I forgot to pay one of my bills last month. Rather than get an attitude with them for calling me, I simply explained what my situation was. And guess what....they are working with me. But I told them that I absolutely cannot pay anymore than what I already pay them. They dropped the late charge and stretched out my due date.

I took my daughter to the doctor, he gave me samples of the antibiotic.

My job....I love my job. I just have to take a different approach when dealing with my boss. I realize that it's not me that has the problem, it's her. If it makes her feel better to belittle me, sobeit. But I am going to start pointing it out to her that I don't appreciate it...very gently of course.

My car....I called my uncle today to see if he'd help me get it fixed. Of course, that'll be on his spare time. But at least the help will be there.

And I'm going to get my rear up earlier so I'm not flying into work and risking being late (I been struggling the last week or so getting out of bed...depression - I've been late once. Not a good thing).

I am doing myself or my kids NO good staying in the state I'm in. Time to pull myself out.




sorry if I bored you will so much of my personnal stuff, but I had to get this out.
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Old 09-27-2005, 11:57 PM
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(((Jess)))

I love the way you are putting effort into changing your situation. And every action will make things seem a lot more manageable.

Miss you.
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Old 09-28-2005, 04:16 AM
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That's why "one day at a time" is so important. We can do something for one day that would be hard to imagine doing for months. When life overwhelms me I first break it down into things I can change and things I can't. Then I try to do the first thing...the thing I can do and then move on to the next. One thing at a time.

It's a formula really and it has worked for me during the worst of times.

JT
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Old 09-28-2005, 04:38 AM
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Thank you, Jessica....beautiful example to me of what recovery in action looks like. Very helpful (and I am glad for your successes!) Hope your day goes well....with your attitude, the chances are good it wiill!
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Old 09-28-2005, 04:55 AM
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jess - i love reading your posts - please don't stop because you think you are boring us! everytime you have hit a bump in the road you have come out stronger - it shows in what you post! thank you for sharing your path with us - it helps me tremendously to read posts like yours.

hugs - christie
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Old 09-28-2005, 06:29 PM
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Thank you all. I wish I could see in my posts what you see. I do just try to survive....one day at a time (I just forget sometimes and get overwhelmed).

After I posted this, I realized that my son's school pictures are next week. Well, I certainly don't have the money, just like I didn't have the money for his inhalers or my daughters antibiotic ointment (which I asked my AH to pay for).

So I called him last night...Initially I asked him if he wanted a picture of our son and what size. Well, that just meant that I had to pay more for the "Package". So I said, "Could you pay the extra amount?" no answer. Then it came to me...."Well, can you just pay for the pictures? I really don't have the money, I could write a check but if it clears too soon, it'll bounce." Of course he started giving me his song and dance about not having any money, he's so far behind in his rent, blah blah, and now you want me to pay for the meds and the pictures. That's like $70.00!

He was probably venting and this may sound mean, but I didn't want to hear it. I told him, "I can either pay for these pictures or feed the kids. Can you give me money for food?" He ended up telling me he'd come up with the money. You know, it's not my fault he has no money. He is able to spend money at the bar! All last summer when he was driving himself in debt he didn't care. Didn't even consider he'd get himself this far into the hole. He tells me...."I'm loosing things (his cars, gas and electric) so that I can get on top of things and be able to give you money in a few months." I'll believe it when I see it. And the kids can't wait a few months to eat.

So, bottom line, he's going to pay for the meds and for the pictures. I have no sympathy. If he can blow his money at the bar, he can use it for the kids.



Money makes the world go round.

btw - my reverse went out in my car and it's only a matter of time before "drive" goes out. Anyone got a car they want to sell?
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Old 09-28-2005, 06:30 PM
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got a truck - LOL
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Old 09-28-2005, 06:46 PM
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I got a call today because I forgot to pay one of my bills last month. Rather than get an attitude with them for calling me, I simply explained what my situation was. And guess what....they are working with me. But I told them that I absolutely cannot pay anymore than what I already pay them. They dropped the late charge and stretched out my due date.
Ask and you shall receive. I'm learning how to ask for what I need, too. Sorry you're having such a hard time these past few weeks. This may be the perfect opportunity to create a "Jenny list," you know the system Jenny uses to manage her life when things get out of whack.
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