Busted After 2 Years Recovery

Old 09-25-2005, 03:49 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
Posts: 21
Busted After 2 Years Recovery

my A busted last night but i handled it really well i wasnt an enabler and he managed to pick himself up this morning and go to an aa meeting and start from day 1 again , im happy with the way i dealt with the situation but i feel bad for my kids they where sooo disapointed in him
i feel a bit bad for him as well he has tried so hard for the two years he has all the isms , diabetes, depression, panic disorder, hepc and he finished treatment for the hep that didnt work.
I cant say i didnt see it coming and people in AA took of this two year madness that happens
I think i was a break he needed to have to realise that he does have a problem with A
But what do you tell a 15yr and 11 yr
I told them he was sick and hpefully hell get better
Ive Learnt things from this site and meetings and it helped me thru
so thank everybody for being there for all of us
MYSTICAL is offline  
Old 09-25-2005, 04:16 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
equus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I dunno about you but I find some satisfaction when I know I've handled something okay. Stuff of all kinds happens in a lifetimes but I think it's how we deal with it that counts.

Just a suggestion but why not remind him that although he's starting back at day one it doesn't mean all the effort he has put in over the last 2 years has disappeared - how can it - it was and is still real?

When it comes to explaining stuff - to anyone of any age I try to think first what it is I really want them to understand, and then how I can help that understanding with what I say. It might be helpful to remind them their Dad is a whole person not defined by any one action - that goes well sometimes with explaining illness, forgiveness, learning self forgiveness, motivation and hope.

Good luck and best wishes to you both.
equus is offline  
Old 09-25-2005, 06:39 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
1000 Post Club
 
FriendofBill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
I dont know if your hub was working a recovery program and this was a slip, or if he was a dry drunk, on a binge...whatever the case, why the disappointment?

He went right back to AA you say...focus on that achievement. Alcoholics slip and relapse,,part of the disease. Its not failure, its sickness.

If his cancer returned, would people be disappointed in him?

Get yourself and kids educated about the disease, buys books, get to 12 step meetings..al-anon for you, alateen for the kids.

Dad isnt a failure, he is a man with many illness that wish to kill him.
FriendofBill is offline  
Old 09-25-2005, 07:22 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cap3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Hey Mystical,you are no longer all alone.Alcoholism is often called the family disease.The alocholic acts,and the family reacts,to all what the alcoholic is doing.Whether the alcoholic drinks or doesnt drink.All focus is on the alcoholic.And this puts alot of pressure on another,with expectations,,to perform in the manner that others think that they should..When expectaions are not met,everyone is hurt.In recovery i learn to let go,let God,and work on my own recovery.To be supportive,but not interfering with their recovery.,or having any expectations,on any outcome.This frees me.I tell my kids the truth.At the ages of your kids,alateen is a great program.Will also help them with their own recovery,in this disease.When, the family is working ,on their own,recovery,then what the alcoholic does or doesnt do,doesnt have so much power,impact,to affect,others,as it would have for those who are not informed about alcoholism.,and woring their own recovery..Read all that you can about alcoholism.This will help you and your kids too.May want to take them to an open AA meeting.My sponsor says that the family that works,in recovery ,pretty much,stays together,when each are working their own recovery program,and stays out of the other family member,s,recovery program.In al-anon we say hands off.And i found that this,works for me also.Making no judgement.Having no expecations.Acceptance,where another is in their own recovery.It takes what it takes,on this healing journey,.One Day At A time...
Wishing you family all the best,my prayers are with you all.
God Bless and take care!!!!!!!!
Cap3 is offline  
Old 09-26-2005, 07:17 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
Posts: 21
THANKS FOB

im not dissappointed in him i feel bad for him i didnt react badly to the situation
but told him it didnt matter just take tommorow as it comes

hes a recovering A and if he drinks, because of his problems he will die very quickly hes only got 30% liver left

if the cancer comes back as you say i would feel the same way i do now

its just that the kids dont want to see him die sooner than later
and we are proud that he got this far because its been hard for him
and he is a good person he just has this mongrel disease
MYSTICAL is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:20 AM.